I've been learning a lot about the Seattle Freeze lately. It's when people are really nice when you meet them but never follow up. This has happened twice with people who have offered to give me resume feedback.
It's not just a Seattle thing though: my sister and I had this happen to us repeatedly at school in other places.
On the other hand, that it's got a name here tells me it's not something that wrong with me. That's almost comforting.
@DialMforMara I honestly think the Seattle Freeze is a symptom of bigger problems, likely caused by this town just being a magnet for people with severe anxiety and not really having the kind of local culture that can ameliorate that.
Getting perspective on it such that you don't take it personally is definitely the first step towards adapting, though! I'm... not quite sure what the other steps are.
(The biggest danger, in my experience, is desperation-induced glomming onto anyone who doesn't ghost without actually evaluating whether they're a good idea. So, um, try not to do that thing and watch out for people who are doing it.)
@DialMforMara Yeah, like... this can happen anywhere, it's true, but I feel like most other places (even if they have other problems, some of which can be worse for you depending on who you are) have this critical mass of socially comfortable people who can facilitate new arrivals / anxious people getting friends.
Whereas in the Pacific Northwest it seems like, if you didn't grow up or at least go to school here, you'd best have existing friends from elsewhere move to the area, because finding Your People is going to take a Very Long Time.
Then I hope I can find it in myself to stay in touch with the overworked mom whose husband invited me over for Rosh Hashanah dinner (and agreed to look at my resume at her request but hasn't gotten back to me about it yet).
@listelian The problem is making sure people who *are* a good idea don't disappear forever into their own shells. I can't make someone email me back.
Finding a circle of friends here feels like "you need experience to get a job & a job to get experience." Where are my friend internships?