i feel lucky for learning sort of early-ish in life [like, half a year ago] about.. other people needing to respect my boundaries, toxic relationships aren't worth spending much energy to fix, i'm not being harmful for existing as myself, etc...
i guess treating relationships as disposable...
that feels powerful.
and it means i can't be hurt..?
i guess this is all based on hurt that hasn't healed yet anyway:
relationships are disposable because
i'm disposable.
or something close to that.
tangentally, i am not sure when i'm expecting or asking too much from other people. i need a lot, it seems. and with time i've been much less tolerant of people not giving me it.
but at the same time, how i look at it is usually not seeming like a big deal for asking of -most- people? it all seems harmless.
except for my damned family who insists on me being demanding and selfish
@fae i'm currently in an Oh Shit, What Do I Do Now, stage of things, hard to tell if that's my own upheaval or the parents' upheaval though. or if we're even talking about quite the same thing
wondering though if i'm taking the lesson too far, treating all relationships as disposable...
especially if i can't risk losing the support [regardless of toxicity]