@Dalmaty Thanks. Me too. It's been weird.

@Paperclippe

I'm sorry this happened to your friend, and you. é_è

I hope you'll get to grieve over this* in a near future and to live again without this pain.

(*not sure that's the right way to say it, I'm not a native English speaker)

@Nocta Your english is perfect. :)

And thanks very much. I'm not sure... I don't know how to say this without sounding insensitive. I"m not sure it's his death that I'm grieving over. It's just sometimes I"ll feel this way and be reminded of him and think, "Ah, there's that option," but totally unprompted, like it's not my own thought. It reminds me of him. And I do miss him, terribly.

But again, thank you. A lot.

@Paperclippe

No problem.

I understand, I think I do at least.

I used to always have a better option, I called those options "moral suicide", some things like "dump everything and go live in a community in the moutain or something", just in case someday I would have those kind of thoughs.

Noweday I'm not sure anymore. But I guess in most case there's always options that does not involve either ending our lives or continuying them as they are. In most case, not everybody have this chance I guess.

@Paperclippe

In any case, I still think the life is worth all the inconveniences/pains. I hope you'll have as few of those thoughs as possible.

Take care of yourself ! 💜