Okay so I know that there's a lot of gross fetishization of both trans people and chubby people on the internet, but it just feels so damn good when I find porn artists who actively draw art of trans people and chubby people, especially chubby trans people, double especially when I can actively find representation of my specific body type.

I dunno, it's just so satisfying to know that I'm not a hideous abomination and that people can actually find my body type sexy?? Like there's validation and then there's VALIDATION, you know what I'm saying?

It sounds kind of silly, but my self-esteem just like... won't let me accept the fact that people could find me sexy? I actively have to prove to myself that yes, my loving fiance thinks that I'm hot and that's not just her having really bad taste or something.

I guess one of the ways I prove that to myself is to follow a lot of trans-positive and chub-positive artists and just kind of... soak in the body positivity for a while. It's weird.