@dconley It's okay just kind of hoping it passes quickly because this is not a good feeling to be perfectly honest

@riking That's okay though cos that's reasonable.

Those also sound like not fun things to be honest and we hope they get better.

@ashkitten Like someone unconnected to us is controlling our body, but we're still aware it's happening. Also like all of the walls are slowly closing in and there's a pressure around our head, kind of like a box.

Also time feels weird?

Time definitely feels weird.

@spiderrobotpig oh gosh i think i've felt that before, back when i was part of a system the first time a really long time ago

@ashkitten Yeah, we haven't felt like this in a really long time so it's definitely kind of messing us up?

Also we've been fragmenting and defragmenting for around 6 months, and we don't really know how to cope with that now that this is happening

@spiderrobotpig i don't really have experience with fragmentation (that i know of, at least... not that i was ever a "normal" system) but that sounds really stressful

@ashkitten Like...we break apart occasionally, then reform into different but similar personalities.

It's kind of a lot, but we think the main issue is not only do we not know who we are we don't know how many of us of there or anything and it's kind of a lot

@spiderrobotpig oh i totally understand that, or at least i think i do... eventually something's gonna force me into breaking into a system again and that'll be not great...

@ashkitten Yeah that would probably not be preferable.

Also its like that but all of the headmates are game and also there are a bunch of smaller fragments of personality that randomly coalesce into a new full headmate it's kinda neat if it wasn't terrifying.

@spiderrobotpig lots of brain stuff would be neat if it wasn't absolutely horrible to deal with... i definitely would never want you to have to deal with that stuff if it was within my power

@ashkitten Thank you. We don't mind the headmates so much. It's nice to have company. But the confusion is pretty bad until it is figured out to be honest.

@spiderrobotpig headmates are fantastic! i'd love to have them all the time if they weren't brought about by trauma and confusion

@ashkitten Tulpa are good for that.

Though we think tulpa have visible bodies? We don't remember atm.

Also yes, that does sound pretty great

@spiderrobotpig tulpa would be cool, i don't know much about them and frankly it's a scary concept because it's so ingrained in my mind that plurality=injury

@ashkitten Yeah, we understand that.

We do know not all of us are trauma based, but several of us are.

We don't know how much of that is the fragmentation and how much is otherwise tho

@spiderrobotpig *nods*

@spiderrobotpig basically how i work is i'm generally a singlet until some type of trauma or major chaos happens and then i split into many fragments which slowly reform a singlet as i heal, but i never turn out the same afterward

@ashkitten Yeah that's similar to what happened to us we think

@spiderrobotpig it's an adventure, for sure :)

@ashkitten Yes, yes it is.

Thank you for talking with us. It helped a lot.

@spiderrobotpig that's good. that was definitely my intent, to help out.

@ashkitten We really appreciate it. You are good

@spiderrobotpig aw thanks i really try and sometimes i even believe it

@ashkitten You do really good. We're feeling more functional, so we're going to probably nap,

but thanks again for everything

@spiderrobotpig glad you're doing better. i'm here pretty much all the time if you need me, just hit me up with a DM or whatever

@spiderrobotpig i hope it goes away soon

@Eve Thank you <3 We appreciate it

@spiderrobotpig 😘🌷❤️

@pnathan Yeah, we split again. This happens from time to time

@spiderrobotpig I really hope you're all right? Is this something that is seirously problematic for you like it is for some?

@pnathan it's not really a DID thing. Like we don't black out most of the time. It's more of a coping mechanism. This is actually how we feel most comfortable, but getting there was way more uncomfortable this time.

We are okay, but we really appreciate you checking in :3

@spiderrobotpig ok. that's v. good! i was a close friend to a multiple for ***years*** until they integrated. very traumatic for *them*.

if you ever want to email & talk with a semi-stranger who is relatively comfortable around multiplicity, my email is on my website, linked in bio.

@pnathan Thank you very much.

Integration is actually worse for us, it seems. But we will definitely keep that in mind

@spiderrobotpig once you're in the land of multiples, I think the rules are left far, far behind. Last time I scanned the literature, I dunno if it was even ack'd as a thing by many of the counseling professionals. I really don't think I'd advocate for integration.... or not... without a *lot* of listening. And I'm not a counselor: just a regular guy online.

@pnathan *nodnod*

It's a complex subject. But having been on both sides, this is more comfy. And worst case we'll just defragment again and become a singlet, or something less chaotic.

It comes in waves for us.

But now we slep

@spiderrobotpig slep good.