I miss being touched. The last hug I got was back when my friend visited in April. I hate being held too strongly, can't stand any sort of physical constraint, but I miss being touched. Light touches, soft touches, safe touches. I long for a hand in my hair that is not a preliminary to something else, a hand on my back that is not pushing me in this or that direction, holding someone in my arms in the certain knowledge that they are happy and willing to be there. There are so many things that I miss. Making people smile. Making them laugh. Talking, using my voice. Sometimes I fear I've forgotten how to exist outside of a screen.