M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town
so long, witches.town
please forward all scrolls, message crows, and visions to: a.weirder.earth/@signalstation
Thanks to everyone for following a year's worth of my witch-themed microfiction. As this instance sinks into the swamp, please note you can find me over at a.weirder.earth/@signalstation where I'll continue to write the sort of nonsense that used to be found right here.
YARD SALE
Just selling a few things that are starting to clutter the ol' hut. Make an offer
The Mask of Trees - Helps you blend in with trees, make friends with trees, seduce a tree's tree-wife.
The Mask of Illusion - Makes you think you can look like anyone, but that's an illusion. You look like an idiot in a mask that's got no eye holes.
A pile of masks - I forget what these do. Probably cursed.
Even more masks - You know what? I thought I had a problem with clutter but I think it's just these masks, reproducing. Rubbing their fake faces together and breeding.
Come get a mask. Cheap.
It's daylight savings time and we all know what that means! Time to black out our windows and bar our doors, same as last year, so the Newest Hour, newly born into our world and ravenous, teeth made of the sharpest of minutes, is kept from making a meal of our loved ones. All it takes is one crack for it to wiggle in! Stay young and wrinkle free, indoors for the full day, and may the Newest Hour feast on some OTHER lost souls out there in the dark.
(cut to: me in December, wearing plastic fangs and chilling among the innumerable horrors who think I'm one of them)
Yeah, man, I was just saying it's so much nicer now that all the humans are gone.
Never dress up on Halloween. That's how the monsters figure out which ones of you are good at camouflage.
WFMU has the best Halloween playlist out of the 1 playlists I've listened to today:
https://wfmu.org/archiveplayer/?show=75554&archive=156250
It's Friday and we all know what that means! Time to figure out how to get this chicken, fox and bag of grain across this dang river! Okay. We can do this. First, gather the village elders. We'll need the strength of their blood. We'll need a mixing bowl. Where are the stars? GARY GOSHDANGIT you're on star-watching duty now TELL US WHERE THE STARS ARE! Oh, and a shivering thing has already snatched the chicken beneath the rock pile. Every week this happens, Gary. GARY! C'MON!
It's Thursday. Nobody knows what that means.
just saw a friend describe humans as "hairless sugar goblins" and honestly she's not wrong
soon is halloween the day when all real monsters just chill n have a beach day cause all the kids steal their jobs and what can you do there's no place to picket you can't block every candy-filled house so it's off to the beach to spook the starfish i guess
https://mastodon.social/media/BOmPkWuLP4qgtBPonIw https://mastodon.social/media/3TWjUFs7H_Gh1Y1dROA A 3D model of one of the robot bodies from Fields of Sand. I design robots to look this way on purpose, and always will.
ME: I feel like I've ruined my life
MY MIND: You need to escape into the next valley over and set up a homestead, that'll get us away from our mistakes. A new fresh start. Hunt some elk and cure the jerky for winter
ME: Stuff doesn't work like that now
MY MIND: Cmon let's go build a yurt it'll be great
ME: What about programming
MY MIND: The stars are a computer
It's Tuesday and we all know what that means! We've failed! We failed to present the birth and horror of another Tuesday! All those clocks we murdered in the town square. All those calendars at the bottom of our lake. Go free from our prisons those damned souls and their wristwatches... they've won. There's nothing more we can do. Our skins are wrinkling. We are collapsing in a hell of undoing: terrible, terrible Tuesday, cruel despot on its fixed throne!
hi i write and storyboard for the simpsons now, here's my proof #mastoart
https://mastodon.social/media/4T2dqMXqftU-dn_vTys https://mastodon.social/media/-RTZVgwOCHcyu5Um9rQ https://mastodon.social/media/wskCOfFBc_yEBI0F9Pk https://mastodon.social/media/EHjup0u6UciNjO-okQU
It's important to set goals.
It's Wednesday and we all know what that means! It's time to head down to the Star Chamber downtown to chain more stars together! If there are any stars in the sky that are not yet in constellations, by secret ballot shall we name and bind them, so no star rises above its station, or dares to approach. Every constellation a prison, every star immobile! A sacred responsibility! Search the skies, damn you! Even even one gets through, we'll all burn!
Everyone notices when the walls are breathing, but how many are concerned when they stop? How many know what to do? How many press hard against the walls with both hands rhythmically, knocking aside framed photos, to save their haunted home?
Sign up now for a Fall CPR class (Classic Paranormal Respiration) and get 10% off the registration fee!
every true crime show ever: it was the kind of town where everyone knew everyone and nobody locked their doors at night
me: well that's why you have serial killers right there
This may not mean much to you folks, but I'm over the moon because I've got a portrait of myself from Shintaro Kago.
I've been a fan of his for over 20 years now. Dang.
Top 5 Places To Harvest Your Cousins
1) Peel their husks in an Autumn field and be the first person to greet their vegetable grins as they leave the stalk.
2) Dig them free from the shallow mud behind the pens and baptize them with a garden hose
3) Set up body-sized lightning traps on the barn roof when heavy clouds roll in and capture cousins as they bolt from the heavens
4) See if your aunts or uncles have any kids
5) Rest in the sun 'til your skin tightens, then carefully peel yourself to find the cousin within
> LEAVE TWITTER
You have to specify a direction.
> GO MASTODON
You have arrived at Mastodon.
The building has dozens of entrances, all with 'official' signage above the door, but with graffiti and stickers and signs all over near them anyway.
> GO TO MASTODON.SOCIAL
You walk towards the door marked 'mastodon.social', and note a parking sign that instead says NO AWOO -- $300 FINE in the typical lettering.
It's Follow Friday! This week, we recommend following:
Ash of Outside - He never looks behind him! You can follow him through the woods, under bridges, and even into the damp hole he calls home and he won't notice. Follow away!
The Gelded Twins - Everyone who follows them ends up losing them in the Carnival of Silk. Maybe you'll be the first to dodge the silk-weavers and their cold eyes and find out where the Twins roost!
Yours Truly - Not a trap! You can follow me! I'll move slowly! You don't need a torch where we're going! Follow me! And when the air gets musky with spores, breathe deeply! It'll help with the following!