M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

Thanks to everyone for following a year's worth of my witch-themed microfiction. As this instance sinks into the swamp, please note you can find me over at a.weirder.earth/@signalstation where I'll continue to write the sort of nonsense that used to be found right here.

YARD SALE
Just selling a few things that are starting to clutter the ol' hut. Make an offer

The Mask of Trees - Helps you blend in with trees, make friends with trees, seduce a tree's tree-wife.

The Mask of Illusion - Makes you think you can look like anyone, but that's an illusion. You look like an idiot in a mask that's got no eye holes.

A pile of masks - I forget what these do. Probably cursed.

Even more masks - You know what? I thought I had a problem with clutter but I think it's just these masks, reproducing. Rubbing their fake faces together and breeding.

Come get a mask. Cheap.

Mixed by yours truly: 45 minutes of music to support your switchblade-fighting lifestyle. (Also approved for those with non-knife-adjacent lives.)

Available for download here:
http://www.signalstation.com/the-signal-ep134/

Includes: Electronic sounds, Jamaican & UK dub, spooky rock, a little girl singing about cats, jazz vocalists, hip hop/pop with steel drum sounds, humming, sorrow.

soundtrack(s) : A Guide Through the Haunting World of “Folk Horror”
https://daily.bandcamp.com/2017/05/04/folk-horror-music-list/

It's Friday, so you know what that means! Time to flense our bodies and have our skeletons thrown down into a well where we'll be made immortal in the stories told of our ghostly cries rattling off the bricks, tainting the water with our sorrow, collecting the coins tossed in and granting wishes as we like!

[Near an open grave. An elderly person's hand appears from within, at the grave's lip, shakily seeking purchase. An expensive loafer kicks its grip loose.]

Republican Congressperson: It's the market. I wish there was something we can do. It's a shame. I know you don't see tears on my face, but I'm crying. The invisible hand. Market forces.

[A gray-haired head starts to crest, and the loafer collides with it in a swift kick.]

RC: Wish there was more we could do. ... More people we could fit in here.

The doctor looks up my insurance and frowns, thoughtfully. "Oh, that's too bad. It says here that this entire universe is predicated on entropy and despair. It says here that legislators gathered in a whirling abyss and wrote a proclamation that nothing can be done. It's all right here in your account information."

"Huh," I say.

"And there's a note from your previous doctor that every atom in your body was born from stars and wants to leave you again... just wants you to dissipate. So..."

"Dang."

[And... SCENE.]

Another day spent lying motionless, between two mattresses, hoping to avoid the baleful eye of a Google document.

I can feel the pressure on the springs above me as it peers in through the window.

I make typical mattress noises, the impersonation flawless, to complete the disguise.

Every one of my teeth, a separate nation, and the borders are closed.

"Your past: Dharmesh Singh, SEO Optimization. Words have held a powerful sway over your past."

I nod sagely.

"Your future: Emily Langtree, certified public accountant. This could mean you're going to be held accountable for your actions."

"Hmm."

"Your present: This is my card. After 10 visits, get 1 reading free."

"Are there any other mediums here I could talk to instead?"

Hello fellow fans of sport!

to whom it may concern: your selfies are awesome

1) The baiting of bear, which slewe two great slaves from the Northlends
2) A jester, covered in filth, speaking against the king
3) A soft-headed friendly fool who aite a score of eggs to much acclaim
4) A philosopher, drunk in a ditch, urinated upon by selfe & many
5) The Spice Girls

Can'st thou guess which is true and which would fetch me time i' the stocks?

[study guide for joke appreciation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_Crusade]

10 Ways to Keep Your Millennial "Children's Crusaders" From Forsaking God When Their Quest to Reclaim the Holy Land Ends in Slavery or Shipwreck