M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town
so long, witches.town
please forward all scrolls, message crows, and visions to: a.weirder.earth/@signalstation
Thanks to everyone for following a year's worth of my witch-themed microfiction. As this instance sinks into the swamp, please note you can find me over at a.weirder.earth/@signalstation where I'll continue to write the sort of nonsense that used to be found right here.
YARD SALE
Just selling a few things that are starting to clutter the ol' hut. Make an offer
The Mask of Trees - Helps you blend in with trees, make friends with trees, seduce a tree's tree-wife.
The Mask of Illusion - Makes you think you can look like anyone, but that's an illusion. You look like an idiot in a mask that's got no eye holes.
A pile of masks - I forget what these do. Probably cursed.
Even more masks - You know what? I thought I had a problem with clutter but I think it's just these masks, reproducing. Rubbing their fake faces together and breeding.
Come get a mask. Cheap.
Oakland Proud. 19th & Webster, Oakland, CA.
Tough to have lunch and pay attention to work colleague conversations with a battle elephant staring me down through the window, I tells ya.
CALLER YOU'RE THROUGH TO DOCTOR MIKE THE MEDICAL MECHANIC WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU???
Hi, first time-long time! I've been trying to construct a homemade scoliosis brace out of a bicycle frame and some empty cans, but I implanted it wrong and now I have a bunch of metal plates sticking out of my back like a stegosaurus. Should I try and remove them, or should I inject myself with some lizard DNA and see how far I can take this?
everybody talks about dying alone like its a bad thing. if you dont die alone youre either with a bunch of sad people which really brings down the mood tbh or you're with happy people which means theyre probably why youre dying to begin with
Things get interesting around here on a Saturday night.
slapstick violence Afficher plus
My writing partner, keeping the ol' typing arms warm.
Things We Have Thrown Into the Lake and What Has Thereby Been Summoned:
) A pineapple: Nothing
) A lover's gift: Regret
) A fish: Friendship with all fish
) A wax sphere: Nothing
) A doll bound in string & hair: Nothing
) A tooth: The Tooth Spirit of the Lake
) A magazine: A forest ranger who asked me to stop littering in the lake
Things to Keep in Mind When Choosing a Familiar:
1) Is it familiar? Don't pick animals you don't know or your mind can't recognize b/c of an other-dimensional origin.
2) Does it match your aesthetic? Or can you afford a wardrobe change? (e.g. a crow likes shiny... is your hair already threaded with reflective bits and bobs?)
3) Price range: A small budget shouldn't be an obstacle. Bugs and slugs are plentiful and free.
4) Does it like magic stuff? A familiar that yawns a lot is distracting.
👁 :crystal_ball: 👁
:imp: welcome, witches~
@ksunter I knew he was the murderer as soon as I saw his totally sweet ride. The paint flecks at the scene were from the same type of sports car, which no doubt got him a ton of chicks. "Hey dude!" I yelled, popping my collar a little higher as I easily ran across the busy street. "Badass car, bro." "Thanks bro," he said. "Five it." We slapped our hands together, then I slapped the cuffs on him. Nobody kills a cheerleader in Chad Benson's city.
Crime novel parody idea: Dude-tective, a story about a dude bro who becomes a private eye. "He pops his collar and collars his perps."
live look-in at witches.town Afficher plus
(tarot reading)
*flips over cards reading STOP EATING GARBAGE and GET REGULAR SLEEP*
"That's the thing with the Tarot: It's so open to interpretation. No way to know what it means."
Come on down to Witch Warehouse, where we got all the witches you need. Got you some plant problems? BOOM, here's a Nature Witch, comes with snail companions.
"Will I ever find love?" Heck yeah you will-- and bargains! -- 'cause at Witch Warehouse we got Love Witches, Tricky Witches, Hypno Witches, and the kind that know all your secrets. (Running a coupon for them this week, check the flyer.)
For as long as my heart's hidden in a charmed box, safe from harm, you'll find me here, makin' deals!
King Midas, from our universe, who didn't think it through, and died. Queen Midas, from their universe, who realized her mistake immediately, and set about solving the problem.
Faraday mitts that let her handle objects. Hyper-amorphous meals that resisted transfiguration. Gold-threaded fabrics that fooled her powers enough to stay comfortable.
Her life was difficult, but her treasury always had funds, and her subjects were always happy.
The soil she was buried in still shines.
Teeny tiny brain in a jar.
another day living in the caves under the mountain. everyone keeps asking me if we can release the ghosts from the box. buddy, ralmélë the wise breathed life into me ten thousand moons ago specifically to stop that from happening
The words "the mirror" appears twice because it is mirrored. Not because I made a mistake. I mean... c'mon.
To get your witch name:
Your first name is your first name.
Your last name is the name you hear uttered by the dark twin that appears in your mirror when you've brushed it thrice with a crow feather and told the mirror the mirror one secret and one wish, then waited patiently for your pupils to dilate and encompass the world.
By the ever wonderful Pais.
http://hgdawn.tumblr.com/
https://mastodon.social/media/HmYQKHkVJn5d5MfBv4w
Bias admittance: we've played music together & he drew my avatar.