M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town
so long, witches.town
please forward all scrolls, message crows, and visions to: a.weirder.earth/@signalstation
500 INTERNAL SERVER ERROR
502 BAD GATEWAY
517 UNETHICAL OPERATION
566 BLOOD CARTRIDGE EMPTY
(at tarot reading)
The medium flips a card. I lean over to read the label: THE FLIPPING CARD.
The card features a tiny illustration of a medium flipping a card and a tiny illustrated me reading the label.
"Is that good?"
The medium shrugs. "It's accurate."
✨JINX✨
It's Friday and you know what that means!
It's time to shift all of the blame for the terrible things we've done to a goat. And then we have to parade the goat through the whole village and let the goat apologize to everyone.
The the goat is crowned and rules the village for the entire weekend. Hail Queen Goat! How you have suffered for us! Our souls are clean and you are damned to rule!
think of how awful it would be to be thrown into a labyrinth to wander around in fear only to be killed by a minotaur when there are much cooler greek monsters to be killed by
You don't have to be crazy to work here, but you do need to supply us with a hank of hair, a vial of blood, complete the three day chant of binding, sign a nondisclosure agreement, summon a minor thoughtform and have it perform up to three tricks or japes, get fitted for a hooded robe, sage your cubicle, and give a cancelled check to payroll.
It's Friday and you know what that means! It's time to put on your boots and head out into the deep swamp to leave treats for the Bog Witch! Seven more days of pleasant damp dreams for all of us! Seven more days of crocodile thoughts and slow mangrove vibrations! Hooray for the Bog Witch! Treats for the Bog Witch!
here's an old comic I made about Robocop https://mastodon.social/media/6xpW29vwuCyHHgwBYFc
I think what I like about this instance is nobody saw witches.town on that public instance list and said "i guess." i assume everyone, like me, read it and chanted "witches town. witch town. WITCH TOWN WITCH TOWN WITCH TOWN" [bangs rhythmically on desk]
In case you don't know about me I'm writing a dystopian thriller in which Kim Kardashian is a freedom fighter on the run from a government very much like our own. I'm about to post the next chapter. And then the one after THAT has The Rock in it
Rules For Dating My Daughter
1) Craft a daughter for me from the quiet forest leaves, whispered words and willpower
2) Ask her out
3) Leave me out of it, weirdo
hey fellow witches if you didn't know (i didn't) @Alda is our instance admin and you can support them here https://liberapay.com/Alda/
For those who dont know, the federated timeline displays all the activity from all the people on other instances who are followed by people on your instance.
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It is therefore very good practice to follow as many interesting people from other instances as possible. We are the ropes binding this distributed system together.
Dreamed that I had a weekly online show where I would hike around outside until I found something colorful, clean it off, and wear it on my fingers on all subsequent episodes. Color-coated wire, unwound paperclips, plastic string, etc. The show got very popular, but then it was taken off the air when they figured out almost all of the viewers were birds
Here at Baby Tooth Warehouse, we get asked a lot: How do you provide such low prices on teeth?
Volume.
Our network of baby teeth specialists have been competing in the Far Kingdom's Tooth Fairy Markets for long enough that when they come back to us, the modern world has left them behind and bewildered... but you know what didn't get left behind?
Bargains.
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, or until the salt circle has been confirmed inviolate, the sacred stones lit, the Soul Blenders put on standby, the Circle of Eight gathered, the chanting of the verses that unstick time completed, the clouds have fallen, and The Queen of Blue Sorrows ascendent.
Top Haunted Houses to Date (Q1 2017):
* The Old Wentworth Place (two ghosts, paintings that go crooked)
* The Former Blockbuster by the Highway (one ghost, 18 haunted videotapes [documentaries, mostly])
* 228 Elm (only visible once a week)
* Dave's Haunted House ($5 entry free, gift shop, group rates, pancake bar)
* My heart. My poor, lonely heart.
mastodon is like the opposite of d day in that a bunch of americans are storming the beaches of france to escape a nazi scourge
YOUR NOVEL IS SUCH A POWERFUL AND INCISIVE WORK, BUT YOU'VE DECIDED NEVER TO RELEASE IT OR SHOW IT TO ANYBODY. WHY IS THAT?
During the writing process, I realized I was more interested in how we talk around fiction than the fiction itself. In some ways, the book tour, the interviews, the reviews—they're more important and impactful than the book itself.
I saw my peers' books get published, but I never read them. Why not remove that first step for my own novel?