M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

This is just to say that we've taken down the signs we had around the Mother Vines because they weren't working. Neither were the fences, which we're also no longer maintaining.

Going forward, let everyone in the village know that if they want to be hugged tightly by a plant that will whisper to them that everything is going to be all right-- despite the teeth at the root ball and despite all of our ignored warnings-- it's okay. We won't try to stop you.

It'll be all right.

@wion
Glad to hear it. The Slab of Penance hasn't been getting a lot of use and we were thinking of replacing it with a bouncy castle or something for the kids, you know?

But with this renewed enthusiasm, I think we'll postpone any decisions, and the kids can keep playing in the Oubliette of Goop for now.

@Xibanya
Every time you blink, I start, and I drop everything I'm holding in fright. Please stop.

The sale is for the shoes. They are baby-sized. They are new. The baby, in its bare feet, draws a line on your paper money with a marker intended to discover counterfeit currency.

The baby's tiny toes are like claws. Its soles rasp on the ground when it walks. These are uncivilized feet, and free.

More free than you, with your money and your horrifying tentacle feet, each one in agony on the hot ground, each sucker-covered appendage in desperate need of shoes, sized to human babies, as no one makes shoes for your kind, ancient as you are... no one who still lives or could be considered sane.

YARD SALE
Just selling a few things that are starting to clutter the ol' hut. Make an offer

The Mask of Trees - Helps you blend in with trees, make friends with trees, seduce a tree's tree-wife.

The Mask of Illusion - Makes you think you can look like anyone, but that's an illusion. You look like an idiot in a mask that's got no eye holes.

A pile of masks - I forget what these do. Probably cursed.

Even more masks - You know what? I thought I had a problem with clutter but I think it's just these masks, reproducing. Rubbing their fake faces together and breeding.

Come get a mask. Cheap.

@DialMforMara @Canageek @morganth
I wouldn't characterize it as dark-dark. My wife has been enjoying life as a detective/monster-hunter in-game, avoiding tasks that call for, say, murdering folks or otherwise being a total villain and she's doing fine.

@Canageek @morganth
There's a "Snub an Acquaintance" function that'll let you prune your contact list back down to a manageable size, if you're determined.

@morganth
If anyone wants to increase their social circle, I can be found here:
http://fallenlondon.storynexus.com/Profile/Sturley%20Dawnsnakes

Sing to your plants.

They hate it. But they know what they did. ♫They knoooow what they diiiiiid♫

If you're looking for inspiration, you could do worse than emulate the Teeth of the Bog. I mean, if I'm composed of mud and hunger, the last thing I'd want to do is, you know, get out there.

But every day, they're hustling, taking travelers who've gone astray, ignored or willfully overlooked all the signs I put up that say MUD and TEETH, hauling the travelers to the bottom of slick pits to start the long, tedious process of making more Bog Teeth.

You don't need self-help books, you just need to watch these gross creatures work. From a safe distance.

@signalstation
It would work better if it ended "... and it's going to eat you if you stop looking at it."

Because then the imaginative reader might start playing a game where they're afraid to stop looking at the period at the end of the sentence.

And then they find out the real monster is their imagination and it's been inside them all along.

osted this before. I feel like I've p

It's Thursday and we all know what it's Thursday and Thursday and we all know what that all what it's means.

It means the week is Thursday and we all haven't fixed know what that the time-stuttering Thursday yet and we all know what that means.

That means.

SO YOU'VE BEEN BEWITCHED
It happens, even to the best of us. You're out, minding your own business, and before you know it, a cackling weirdo in a robe is stuck to you. Can't peel 'em off. "This is my life now," you think, already adjusting, and then some oddball wielding a twisty stick and talking to a crow adheres to your legs and slows you down.

You've got witches.

We've been there. First thing you have to know: Don't swat them. Makes 'em mad.

Wait for nightfall and step outside. They'll peel off and go looking for dark secrets on their own.

I Replaced My Entire Head with a Humming Wasps Nest, AMA

+ - Why did you do that? - catdad88

What? I can't read your comment because of all the wasps. And the paper. And the spit-glue. Also, my thoughts have been replaced with the hum of industry so language feels increasingly distant, like a dream I once had.

Learn from our mistakes: Flower golems are a terrible idea.

We thought it'd be simple: a little blood, some petals, a bit of chanting and you've got a garden that can move and talk.

Instead: Visibility is terrible as the pollen fog collects in drifts. I am so covered in pollen I look like a bee's hind legs. Children are producing so much mucus in their sleep they need to be chipped free from their beds in the morning.

And still, the golems won't stop making out.

@Xibanya
Done.