M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

SALE: Magic Wand (1-sided)

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Order now and you'll also receive a FREE scrying orb stand made of colored pressboard... like astronauts use!

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@gravezwave
Unless you're fluid-bonded to your fiction, this author recommends that you put on latex gloves for the next section of this story. For those of an age where cootie shots are still effective, inoculation is also recommended.

@gravezwave
Ah yes, orbital Dorito on re-entry.

@sillystring
Never met someone who named their shower but Jesus is as good a name as any for it.

@sillystring
For science.

@gcupc
"So the ritual didn't work out?"

"No. Turns out the blood wasn't virgin."

"What?"

"Yeah, Gary just brought some from home. Said later he used it 'a little' and didn't think it would matter."

"Oh, c'mon, Gary."

"It's always something with Gary. If he didn't handle the dry-cleaning of our hooded cloaks, he'd be out of the coven SO fast."

@benhamill
INQUIRY RESPONSE: The day started overcast and it may be affecting moods. Feet are dragging in the office. Over.

DECLARATION: My work team is small and everyone's cool, but many, they seem tired this week.

DECLARATION: I seem to spend much of my time in rooms with windows that don't open. So many levels above ground. The view out the floor-to-ceiling windows is of other large building. I keep thinking of us as termite-like creatures in our towers. Or imagining a future where this town is empty and wind passes through these windows and vines wind around old phones and birds roost where I keep my laptop docked.

I don't know why so many people only seem to sob uncontrollably. I only sob under carefully controlled conditions.

I allow myself three distinct sobs per minute. There are cameras and observers with clipboards behind thick glass taking notes. There is a control group: Gary. He is in another room, not crying. He provides the baseline for comparison.

You can set your watch to my sobs. I am in complete control.

Gary said there was a line at the dry cleaners, so we didn't get our eclipse robes in time and now the human sacrifice says he's got a thing to go do and the sun's back, so WAY TO GO, Gary, the eclipse is ruined.

Guess the UNBLINKING EYE FROM THE FROSTS BELOW THE STARS is just gonna have to sleep even longer before rending this world, GARY.

@oxyvolt
Very on-brand dialogue! 10 pts.

@oxyvolt
https://cigarettesaftersex.bandcamp.com/

@oxyvolt
It's usually higher level, but it adds to the narrative, so we'll put it at the end of a quest, as a reward. So get ready!

Oh, right, that reminds me. I've been meaning to tell you: I've been your DM this whole time. For your whole life. You're now level 3. As of today, you have more hit points.

Kinda weird, though, that to date you still haven't made a single successful saving throw.

@nev
You know, you're right. I wasn't even thinking about travel expenses. My sympathy deepens.

@sydneyfalk
Gets chilly.

You know who I feel bad for is the person who's gotta strap on trunks and gloves everyone someone on a social media platform says "fight me."

Seems tiring, but someone's gotta.