M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

Every time someone mentions "a ghost of a smile" you are within your rights to demand "Who killed that smile?" and "What unfinished business does the smile have in this realm that must be settled before it can move on to the afterlife?"

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THIS FALL Thursdays at 8/7 Central
GHOST SMILE HUNTERS
Season Premiere: Our team of ghost hunters use high tech gear to exorcise a melancholy girl's face, where a ghost of a smile has been sighted. (30 min.)

STYLE & BEAUTY
7 Things That Make You Look Older Than You Really Are
1) Not getting enough sleep
2) Overindulging in alcohol
3) Accidentally referring to your friends by the names of the ancestors they resemble.
4) Ignoring horoscopes because "All the stars move anyway, so who cares."
5) Enjoying swing music.
6) The section of your wardrobe made from woven reeds and lizard pelts.
7) At every opportunity, you mention "This all used to be underwater" while gesturing at everything. "Learning to breathe oxygen on land was a mistake."

@Angle
Eldritch Horror is the game's name. We were playing an expansion on top of the base game with 3 other folks. It was my wife and my first time playing. The others were hosting/teaching. Took us 4.5 hours before we succumbed, but it was tons of fun!

The wife and I played Eldritch horror tonight with friends, trying to stop a supernatural mummy from taking over the world.

It didn't work. The world was destroyed. Sorry.

My wife was a kung-fu heroine who was tragically eaten by zombies in Buenos Aires. I played a sailor who was by her side when she went and spent the rest of the game wandering, haunted by a spirit, unable to rest and recover.

But I could still look back with fondness on my proudest moment: Engaging in fisticuffs toe-to-toe with the child of an Elder God while at sea, and punching its face off.

They can't take that away from me.

@gravezwave
"Couldn't hack into their system 'cause they had S.I.L.V.E.R. B.U.L.L.E.T.S."

Security Intelligence Lattice Verifying Every Response / Backup Utility Leveraging Lethal Emergency Trespassing System

@gravezwave
I remember hoping these were gonna get collected in print or something.
http://underwhelminglovecraft.tumblr.com/

@gravezwave
ugh. And he's like "send pics" and you're all like "your very presence interferes with electronics". Lame.

@gravezwave
Is that the novel where, to read it, you had to find the novel's pages scattered throughout the woods, and you had to collect them all during a dark, dark night?

I can only tell you that my lawyers are busy in their basement offices, sharpening blades and singing songs that only their subterranean ears can hear, a song that stirs their blood. They know everything about intellectual property.

Here's my problem. I told them I invented the concept of the robot. And that I invented Bladerunner. Please don't tell them of anyone else creating anything even remotely similar.

They will fall on me like jackals.
@Seipas

On the wrong side of town, walked into a Roomba bar. I'm no Bladerunner robophobe, but I'm just saying: It's weird to sprinkle bar snacks on the floor. That's just one guy's opinion. I'm glad they have rights and whatnot but they should have a sign on the door or something.

Millennials Are Killing the Auto Industry
Large flocks of millennials have taken to moving in "flocks", sweeping the land in a synchronized fashion despite no apparent method of communicating their navigational choices. Grasses, golf courses and picket fences have been trod underfoot by this wave of youth. If you spot a Millennial herd, seek higher ground. Our Millennial Rangers, once contacted, will attempt to redirect them by deploying health care lures.

PLEASE NOTE: It is still legal for humans to keep their IDs in their mouths if they like, though you may ask them not to and remind them that mouths have germs. Please use appropriate gloves or germicides if you come in contact with a mouth ID. Your safety as a poll worker is paramount.

WARNING: Robots who pass for humans are circumventing our voter ID laws by 3D printing their own IDs.

If someone asks for a ballot and produces their ID from their mouth very slowly while making whirring and beeping noises, please give them a provisional ballot to complete until we can determine whether or not they're a robot who has taken the place of a registered voter human.

Scientists agree: Email is terrible. But what if there were a newsletter that didn't even end up in your inbox because you could read it online?

TAKE THAT, science! Go live in a pit of mud!

Now there's a new collection of short fiction by me, posted by me, and read by... YOU?!? Could it be?

http://www.signalstation.com/lost-time-incident-65-hide-your-identity-and-keep-your-family-safe/

Please support my Patreon!
$1/m - I will write your name in my dread book in blood, but that's it. Nice calligraphy, tho!
$5/m - I will mention you to the Coldest Nebula during weekly summoning
$10/m - We can meet for lunch and you can taste my sacrificial blade (not a euphemism)
$50/m - When the mountains crumble and you are out of tears, the Mouth Beneath Everything will take you last
$100/m - OMG you're the best! I'll send nudes. (Also, you'll be saved when the stars fall, etc. etc.)

@gravezwave
I was thinking along Lovecraft-y lines today as well, but I hid it entirely too cleverly as dumb-quiz-clickbait nonsense and people wisely avoided it.

What're the odds, eh?

Last time you were kissed? Today
Ever held hands during a fireworks show? Yes
Ever traveled abroad? Yes
Ever felt pressure pushing in on the walls of the world from some cold other place? Yes
Favorite music? Haunting, a humming from the stars
Can you hear me? Calling from this dark place? Yes
Favorite color? It has no name. Words fail.
Cats/dogs? It is all beasts. It has all names.
Ever had a crush? The pressure is unbearable.
Can you help? Yes. Yes, I can help. I can share the message. Quiet the humming. I'll let everyone know.

@dragonluvr89
I support my treesexual child.

Dude could hang out and nap anywhere, but if I settle on the couch to write, he likes to see if he can insert himself in the process. It doesn't take much typing from the arms he has pinned to convince him there may be easier places to nap... but he'll try it again later anyway.