M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town
so long, witches.town
please forward all scrolls, message crows, and visions to: a.weirder.earth/@signalstation
Visited the RSS memorial today. After all these years, it's still amazing to see the lightning hit it—every hour, on the hour—and then watch as the sparks ripple out to the aggregator towers at all the cemeteries that are still subscribed.
The Carnival came to town and they've got all the rides. The Slide of Mirrors. Fish Throw. The Widening Gyre. Pick the Brick. Goldfish Graduation Ceremony. The House of Spooks. Kiss Tunnel 4000.
They guy who works the booth smokes too much. In the haze you can barely see the balloons you're throwing darts at, the open mouth clowns you're spraying water at, the criminals working off their community service by dodging softballs. Mostly dodging.
The dunk tank is full of Dr. Squib because that's the town's biggest employer. All the brown noses trying to get dunked. Making their resumes soggy.
I hate this town.
WHAT GAME ARE WE PLAYING, AGAIN?
Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Standing On a Rooftop While the World Drowns, Awash in Awe and Loss
https://youtu.be/sBtRIRiTJqA?t=2m34s
My brothers and sisters, adorned in the scraps of civilization, skinny and tired from sleeping in drafty caved-in skyscrapers, hold their breath.
The warm haze never lifts. The city's half under water.
But somewhere out there... we hear the honk of a red nose.
2020. THE FUTURE.
Our desperate band has constructed a faux tiny car made from reeds and plastic shopping bags. The trap is baited. We wait.
Tonight... we feast on clown flesh.
Escape Pod-Dwelling Astronauts: Not Pressing Self-Destruct Button on Space Station 'Just a Social Norm', Not Explicitly Banned
@TipsyTentacle
Grab some rope, some crampons, tackles and chalk. Today we're going mountain climbing up the sheer face of my mp3 collection back-up.
"You're not like the other girls" he said. "They're not REAL, you know? They don't have scythes for arms and compound eyes."
Unfortunately for him, he forgot about the powerful mandibles I use to behead males after mating with them.
not always good at keeping in touch
"SKIP!" I shout in the crusty prospector's face.
"Now, wait jus' five more seconds there, son. What you gotta know about investing for retirement is... you gotta avoid unreasonable fees!"
"SKIP!" I scream into my rented cowboy hat.
A Wild West robot theme park but some robots keep talking to you about candy bars you should try, and about new cars you can lease. The saloon's piano player says a $50 tip in his hat will keep all conversations "era-appropriate, pardner."
I write short, nonsensical fiction and sometimes it gets mailed out as a newsletter, but who reads email anymore?
You can read the latest installment on a proper website here: http://www.signalstation.com/lost-time-incident-64-wife-of-a-clown/
Or go do anything else. Up to you. The sun's going to explode some day, so...
Just a heads up: If/when I get cancer, you better believe I'm gonna have a GoFundMe. But none of it will go for medical care. Only stupid stuff.
I'll pay someone $100 of your money for a nice stick. A stick I don't even need. (It'll be nice, though.)
I'll eat a $50 bill. I don't care.
UNICODE CHARACTER NAMES THAT WOULD ALSO MAKE GREAT NAMES FOR KIDS
* Circumflex Accent (U+005E: ^)
* Aldus Leaf (U+2766: ❦)
* Black Lozenge (U+29EB: ⧫)
* Sesame Dot (U+FE45: ﹅)
* Claudian Antisigma (U+2183: Ↄ)
* Dingbat Arrows (U+2794: ➔)
* Hilbert Space (U+210C: ℌ)
* Ordinarily Satisfies (U+2AE2: ⫢)
* Tilde Operator (U+223C: ∼)
* Octothorpe (U+0023: #)
6) You are an ant. (Note: 'Small' in this case will only refer to the actual size of the entire venue, the guest list may be several hundred thousand relatives at minimum)
7) You're queer and (somewhat) irrationally terrified that your ability to get married to your partner may be disrupted by a hypercorrupt orange crackpot gaining unprecedented political power so you borrow two friends who are legally able to officiate and witness and do it in the park.
8) Spite.
5 Reasons to Have a Teeny, Tiny Wedding
1) The only official who is free to preside over your ceremony is a talking cricket.
2) All wedding venues are booked except for one, located inside a young girl's liver, accessible via shrunken submarine in sterile lab conditions.
3) You fell in love with an electron.
4) The global economy is arranged in such a way that your entire generation has difficulty finding steady employment at a wage where an extravagant wedding is even an option.
5) Tiny things are cute! Little wedding cake! Small cocktails at the reception! Reduced expectations to minimize disappointment! Adorable!
4 Secrets of Women Who Switched to Natural Beauty Routines
1) Dreams are sweeter when you sleep under the soft, cool mud. Let the webbing between your fingers guide you down.
2) To impress aquatic romantic partners, thread seaweed through your scalp. Beautiful, and small fish can hide from predators in your hair-reef! New friends!
3) Want the perfect butt? Try river stones! We couldn't say how they'd help, but stones are 100% natural and reader polls say butt shape is important so... put it together. We can't do everything for you.
4) We hid a body once. That's just a regular secret. Nothing to do with beauty.
"The Dungeon Master is dead. The DM remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? What dice must we roll to save ourselves? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become masters of dungeons simply to appear worthy of it?" - Nietzsche, 12th level rogue
A thread featuring @gravezwave, collected for ease of reading as a service to the community, which counts as community service, for the arson and all that, plus we was framed.