M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

I believe that every question is an imposition on the person asked and should be accompanied by a considerable sense of shame, AMA.

@gravezwave
https://youtu.be/Lcn3wN-2KGc
The answer might be a bit ... underwhelming.

PROM-BLEMS
a) That time I asked you to prom but you fell through a portal, freed an ancient land from evil & lived out your life there.
b) That time the school cafeteria, where prom was held, sprouted legs and walked away, taking our crepe paper decorations, balloons and DJ with it.
c) That time prom was kidnapped and we paid the ransom, but prom fell in love with its captors and joined a crime syndicate.
d) We asked each other to prom, but people standing behind each of us thought we were talking to them, so we didn't go together, but with strangers.
e) Prom was cancelled. Frogs.
f) I asked you to prom at the bottom of a list of dumb stories.

@gravezwave @oceangrunge
You guys didn't have this in your peer group growing up? We always used to say: "It takes 'em a while to warm up, but when dey go...!"

I always assumed it was part of the universal teen experience: jean jackets, cheap cigarettes, wordplay and cryptid romance.

@gravezwave
Maybe you should give you up, since you just let yourself down.

I had just splashed some rubbing alcohol into a drinking vase when she walked into my office looking like trouble. She was a pistol and her eyes were bullets and I hadn't taken a gun safety course since the War. "What's the story?" I said and her safety came off and it came to me that I was drunk and talking to my gun again. Another unsolvable case. My office was the underside of a couch. "I live here now," I said, detectively.

[NYT] Rural Trump Voter: "Cities Are Populated Only With Phantoms of Little Consequence, Briefly On Loan From Hell, And Also Ears of Corn Should Be Allowed to Vote"

Join the priesthood. Join a zoning commission. Rezone Hell as Zone A-C: Arts and Crafts. Everyone works on paintings, gluing macaroni to paper, clay ashtrays. Before too long, there's no more room in Hell-- too much clutter-- and everyone goes free, more in touch with their creative side. Done.

'But what does it sound like?' you ask, without an ounce of trust in me, a complete stranger. 'Will I like it?'

I dunno, do you like eclectic combinations of beats, funk, gospel, punk, pop songs with horror themes, 80s electro and synth pop, half-tuned radio from Egypt, plunderphonic cut-ups and the sense of not knowing what comes next?

If you like your music in blocks of exactly 45 minutes, then I have created the perfect mix for you AND IT'S FREE (except to the extent that time is money because it takes 45 precious minutes to listen to)!
http://www.signalstation.com/the-signal-ep136/

@idesofmerch
Is composed of a lot more garbage meat than you want to think about.

@Xibanya
I think you're taking your dating sim research too seriously. :-(

DISCOUNT POTIONS (2 for 3 Pricing - Everything Must Go!)

LOCKPICK'S DELIGHT - 2 sips and the bones in your index finger liquify, allowing you to jam your finger into any lock and gain entry.

WHICH WAY - A quick 8 sips and any boneless finger is reinvigorated, sprouting more bones than your finger has ever known! In all directions!

SUMMON DOG - 1 sip and all of your external bones become irresistible to nearby canines. Cover teeth before use.

MINT - Freshens breath.

NO MORE JERRY - Get Jerry to drink this one. That jerk.

PHANTOM FINGER - Replace any damaged finger with a ghostly replacement. WARNING: Will anger the ghost donor!

@dragonluvr89
Heavy.

@wishx
We've got some applications out for grants to fund further research, so we'll see how that goes.

@sydneyfalk
Mecha-Purple, the color that was invented by man expressly to defeat Purple.

@phildenfer
"Better" is a qualitative (and therefore subjective) claim. Our experiments make the most progress when we stick to quantitative data. By "better" do we mean "can compel the boys towards the yard at a higher velocity, or with a shorter delay time"?

That, we can measure.