M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

4 Signature Scents to Kick Off Summer

Sea Breeze - The waves call to you: Renounce your limbs! Shimmy off of your bones and rejoin the ocean as a jellything, shedding pounds for the perfect beach body!

Book Fire - Relive your childhood with the scent of hiding from the Amnesia Corp, your most beloved story taped to your chest to avoid detection!

Mud - Our beauty staff hired a pig-- a literal pig-- and she's a great writer, but has her own thoughts about signature scents, so... "mud."

MRC20083 - Sure, it burns, but everyone who smells it comes unstuck from time and can ask questions of their ancestors! Get it!

@AriadneHexe
(skims the first sentence of the linked article)
Yep! Checks out!

@patience
I had something similar with a reworked Ryuichi Sakamoto track:
https://gundamgrime.bandcamp.com/album/magnetic-rose-ep

No matter how rough your day is going, at least you ain't died in a molasses flood.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Molasses_Flood

The milkshake. The cold ones. The boys are back in town. They come in waves. Small fences collapse under the weight. Fields churned to mud. They come together and collide in the yard.

From above, patterns emerge as they shuffle and circle. A sharp yelp: a boy has fallen and been hurt. Let's hear it for the boy. Let's give the boy a hand. Oh. It's too late. He's gone.

From all directions, pinwheeling out to the horizon, more boys approach, as sure as sunlight, as quiet as shadows. Why did we call them. What did we hope to gain. The boys. So many boys.

@venkuskirata
That would introduce another variable to keep track of. In matters of science and verification, simpler is better.

@gravezwave
Moon's Milkshake Brings All The Orbiting Boys To The Yard Every 2 Hours Or So According To The Sum of Apoapsis and Periapsis: Project Summary (283 pages) [download link]

@gravezwave
Of course we have concerns, but this is science. If any slingshotting occurs, we'll write it down in our notes. Accuracy in documentation above all else.

Turns out the reason no boys came to the yard was that the milkshake's attraction field was too intense. For miles around, boys were pinned to the walls closest to the milkshake, unable to move let alone reach doors and visit the yard.

Luckily, we were able to power down the milkshake before any serious injuries were sustained. All further milkshake tests will proceed in flat open areas, like salt flats or the lunar surface.

@er1n
The Milkshake Duck was the Scorpion to our Frog. Right there in the name. How did we miss it?

@gravezwave
MADNESS

My milkshake, carefully concealed in the yard, has yielded no results. I shall need a more compelling bait to hunt this most dangerous of game: "the boys"

@TipsyTentacle
I shop there all the time.
I must. That's the only explanation.

@gravezwave Genuinely laughed out loud. No emoji nonsense.

Now available: LOST TIME INCIDENT 61
Cultists and board games, women's health, a fast-forwarded movie.

The latest newsletter from M Van Vleet, winner of the 2017 Self-Awarded Victory Award.

http://www.signalstation.com/lost-time-incident-61-the-cult-has-a-great-health-care-plan/

Generally, adult female hard ticks breed while on the host animal and then drop to the ground to lay eggs. These poly-ticks can also have multiple partners of any gender. Isn't tick-jealousy an issue? According to entomologists, the answer is "No." An adult female hard tick has to do the hard work of negotiating and setting clear expectations with each partner before laying several thousand eggs at a time, which will eventually hatch into the larval stage, known as seed ticks.

@thedod Nice hamborger!

@sydneyfalk @tcql
Moving truck out front. Real estate agent pounds a sign into the lawn: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

Mom with the coffee cup on the porch across the street: "Aw, jeez, there goes the neighborghood."