M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town

@tcql
"No daughter of mine is leaving this house with a Tanakawa GX-LIZ 800 deck and a pocket full of net-security cracking mem-sticks!"

"Aw, dad, leave your inhibitions in the cyburgs!"

cyburg (n): a wireless hamburger

i dunno, that's all i got so far

@Xibanya
y not git gud?

@alyx https://www.pacificpinball.org/

tired: replacing your head with a wasp's nest and all your thoughts with the angry rustling of paper

wired: replacing your head with a bee's hive and all your thoughts with the slow drip of honey

@Xibanya Truly we live in an age of wonders.

@Xibanya Which one?

4 of the Biggest Myths About Pregnancy and Childbirth

1) You can always tell if your child is destined to overthrow you. Honestly, most soothsayers make this call based on whether you act like a jerk when you ask about what forces threaten your kingdom. Always tip!

2) Playing music for a baby makes it smarter. Nope! Not with your musical taste, poseur.

3) The fae want to swap a mushroom baby for your child as soon after birth as possible. Actually, the fae are quite patient and have even replaced teenagers!

4) They only let experts write these articles for mothers. Actually, any idiot can just write anything.

15 Weird Things That Are Making You Anxious

1) That strange figure standing among the fruit trees, just there. Can't you see it? When the lightning strikes, briefly?

4) The unknown fate of numbers 2 and 3.

5) The known fate of numbers 7 through 10.

11) Life's fleeting nature. Every bird and bug, every enemy and friend, just ripples on water.

12) The taste of your own tongue. It curls back. What are you?

13) The crying sound the number 8 makes. But it's just looking for attention. QUIET DOWN, 8!

14) Lists from health/beauty magazines that make you think your life could be better if you just read one more list.

15) Capitalism.

@sydneyfalk Oh, they won't be found. They're hidden. WITH THE VEGETABLES!

6 Tasty Ways to Hide Vegetables in Your Favorite Foods

1) Find a young orphan vegetable. They're pliant and learn fast. Teach it the art of camouflage. How to be still. To mask its scent. To distract. If you see it, strike it, until it learns you will only love it when you think it's gone. Its desire to please the only source of love in its life will drive it to perfection.

2) Shape a vegetable into a spoon or fork! Use it to shovel melted cheese into your face. More! MORE!

3) In the pale moonlight, cut a bouquet of Maiden's Wort. Cure it in otter bile. Consult TANFORTH'S FOLLY vol. 3 pp. 18 and cast INVISIBILITY FOR BEETS.

4) Wrap 'em in bacon.

#introductions

I have no incentive not to lie to you. I live in a shack, in a bog, but the wifi is good. It's fueled by despair, which I get piped in from the orphanage. Most of the entries in my spell book are spells that make it so I don't have to get up and do things. My hobbies include failing to solve the riddle of Parhthatus (and suffering the subsequent skin burns), teaching homunculi to swim, reversing the positions of my left and right eyes (doesn't help) and writing short fiction.

...

@vi

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:
Sympathy for the [Game] Dev...il (50 pts)

@vi

I'm sorry for their loss.