M of Witches Town @signalstation@witches.town
so long, witches.town
please forward all scrolls, message crows, and visions to: a.weirder.earth/@signalstation
@pixelpaperyarn So, he owns the business on the corner, and he's SUPER drunk.
And they're just yelling at one another. My business partner at the time was this ... scary person So he goes and breaks up the fight, right? He explains the situation, helps people calm down.
A few minutes later, the old dude comes back. This time he has a sword.
@pixelpaperyarn https://thenewclearlawnchairs.bandcamp.com/releases
I have so many stories about the recording of that EP.
Like so many.
So, first, the name "Voted Most Chill in High School" came from the wildest event I've ever taken part in.
The guitarist was this tiny kid name Alec. And he tried to pick a fight with some old dude in the parking lot in front of the record store/venue/recording studio I was running. Right?
Turns out the dude owned the business on the corner.
@pixelpaperyarn If you like sloppy punk, the New Clear Lawn Chairs are hard to beat.
But if you don't like Sloppy Punk the New Clear Lawn Chairs sound kind of like human suffering.
@pixelpaperyarn
Not a musician, but my tastes are eclectic: https://bandcamp.com/signalstation
I've been making & posting music mixes for over a decade on my own website:
http://www.signalstation.com/category/the-signal-mixes/
And I posted some binaural field recordings (which is a project I mean to get back to):
https://ephemeralandmundane.bandcamp.com/
"I always steal coins with my left hand, so's I can keep my STABBIN' hand free!" https://witches.town/media/woZBA4CFl6RUAvCMMrc
@Combaticus I hope you at least have a document open, or a window, or a notebook, or your scroll & quill at the ready.
Trying to write fiction in another window, but keep poking my head back here for short mental breaks. What are you avoiding doing?
4 Ways to Fix the Most Common Shaving Mistakes
1) Apply oil and old parchment to a mirror in a door's shape. A small sacrifice should allow your mirror twin to exit the mirror with its untouched skin and take over your life while you recover.
2) Curse the gods until, out of fear, they restore your skin.
3) Never shave. Let dark winds and your weird will animate every hair on your body into a beautiful weapon for use against your foes.
4) With 3 sharp intakes of breath and a virgin's eyelash, cause time to reverse until your razor's blade is restored to ore in a mountain's heart. That'll teach it.
@gravezwave Okay, a quick pact: If I find someone who knows what they're doing, I'll let you know. Someone's gotta have this figured out by now, right?
@gravezwave Well, of course! I opened three tabs just to speed read about how you extract nicotine just to describe it in general, accurate-enough terms in my last reply. Research is important, even in friendly comments that only one stranger is ever going to read. Right? I hope it is. Otherwise what am I doing.
@gravezwave I just laughed out loud so abruptly I almost dropped my phone into the heated bowl of tobacco solution I'm reducing to a nicotine paste!
Anyone got any recommendations for poisoners? My usual guy retired, so here I am with dueling season approaching and all my swords are just ... unpoisoned.
my million-dollar fantasy setting idea, based on a tumblr post:
-high fantasy setting but humans have southern US accents instead of European
-dwarves have midwestern accents
-elves have brooklyn accents
-orcs are appalachian mountain people. their war chants are backed by banjo and slap bass. at least one background orc is always wearing flannel and overalls buttoned on only one shoulder.
-dark elves have british accents but they're all chavs
THREE WAYS TO SPICE UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP THIS SUMMER
1) Marinate your partner in a brine for four hours. While their skin loosens, you can pass the time reading them love poems! When it’s loose enough, slip their skin off their skeleton and put it on yourself. Touch yourself through their skin. Let them watch you dance in it. Tell them how hot their skeleton is. TIP: Don’t forget to reglove them before they dry out!
2) Spanking! Have you tried it? Oh geez! It’s great!
3) Open a portal to the CoLoUr Realm and go with your lover outside of time, never to return. Rates are reduced while our realms are nearest! Any travel witch can arrange the trip!
It's Saturday and you know what that means! Time to swap out the cartridges on the respirators that keep us safe from the Plant Fog and time to lead the children in writing polite letters to the Vegetable Lord asking him to spare us from his green judgement!
"promise me you'll do three things before you kill me"
"what."
"like, comment, and subscribe."
@souza How do you feel about horror and time travel? There's TIME CRIMES and there's TRIANGLE.
@misuba
"Its just been a nightmare since The Incident, hasnt it?"
HOW TO GET A BEACH BODY
1) Write down on parchment a list of everyone who wants to see you fail.
2) Go to the beach under the light of the moon.
3) Wet the sand with tears, form it into a humanoid shape.
4) Insert your list into the shape's "head".
5) Complete the 18th Ward (Diremoth's Chain), command the winds, and utter 3 lost names.
Voila! Your beach body will rise, ready to confound your enemies.
TO DISMISS: Say aloud "I look good" and believe it. This may take some practice.
My writing partner has arrived to keep my typing hands steady.