Is this you?
YOU: My inbox is full of junk email, mundane notes from my estranged family, and fundraising letters! If only I could set my inbox alight so that the flames could give me a joy that currently escapes me!
Fret no more! (And don't burn your inbox!)
Now, you can subscribe to the LOST TIME INCIDENT, a newsletter from yours truly full of short fiction and assorted nonsense.
YOU: That must cost a fortune. I will sell my organs to the rich, prolonging their life and helping me to acquire this source of joy.
No need, friend! It's free!
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