sev @sev@witches.town

I've moved to @sev at a.weirder.earth. Go find me there.

You are real. You are valid. You are valuable. The world is better because you are in it.

I believe in you. I'm proud of you.

Yes, you.

too cold to go into the water, but I've got salt spray in my hair, sand between my toes, and the ocean kissed my calves.

This isn't home anymore, and I never want to live here again - but I carry the sea within me wherever I go.

"I want to be a messy wreck in the middle of your perfectly ordered room," I said, just a few years ago. I hadn't realized, yet, the depths of his perfectionism, or I'd have phrased it differently.

Every so often he checks in, with a shy smile and a sidelong glance, that I haven't forgotten I've promised that dress and my skin to his hands and his knife, if only he'll one day bring perfect order to his living room so he can take me apart, there.

does it count as getting stood up if they said "might be able to" and then ghosted? I guess not.

Still, I could have done just about anything today and instead I waited by the phone. Maybe after circus class tonight I'll treat myself to some ice cream or something.

today's act of love: let my sweetie micromanage my schedule to squeeze out an extra five minutes we can spend together

comic books, candy corn, a couple of lovely dates with lovely cuties behind me, a night of gaming & then another date with another lovely cutie ahead of me ...

...I am so exhausted and I need a(nother) nap. But life is good. :)

Oh, Stildyne. This last (last!) novel under #Jurisdiction is breaking my heart.

ack, mistaken identity shenanigans! I read a page, cringe with discomfort, set the book down. Repeat 3x.

It doesn't help, for some reason, that the subterfuge is for impeding one of the few unadulterated evils in the series. It *should* help. But it only helps when I'm not immersed; while I'm reading I just feel anxious.

For so many years I'd start planning my birthday months in advance, and got constant pushback from people, not that date, his conflict or that and suddnely I'm looking at a date a whole season later and people are still saying, no, not that day either

So last year I said fuck that and planned a whole month worth of activities and guess what? None of those people showed up to *any* of them. And this realization isn't new, but: these people aren't actually my friends, really. I haven't had the energy to try to please them for the last decade and I don't miss them, mostly.

And my birthday conflicts with a major event and I am trying to not care.

I'm afraid to start it. I've loved this series for nearly twenty years. I expect I will like this installment; but then that's the end. Another volume comes out next year with collected bits and pieces, but this is the end of the timeline. https://witches.town/media/s3CRa42c8MXt7WZKuJc

theory: this phase of my cycle comes with a lot of energy, and I begin to suspect it's not *different* energy -- the setting-boundaries comes from the same place as the self-loathing. The latter is what happens when that energy turns inward. What does it look like, she asked, when I deflect it back out instead?

I dunno what it looks like but it *feels* like certainty. Which has been in short supply, of late.

ow

these sexy heels were way comfier when I was walking at my usual pace instead of the chatty amble of a couple of preteens.

Now I want a sweet tea and a footrub.

*dreamy smile*

dinner-date with my not-just-a-crush anymore. wish me luck.

what does it feel like, to be good at something?

I miss smoking. I miss drawing the fire into me, hearing it crackle. I miss the sense of complete peace at the top of the draw, filled with heat, shimmering with ash, wreathed in smoke.

also, I've been a frickin' typhoon lately. Beware my g-spot, for I may drown the living daylights out of you.

the new vegan gag worked exactly as intended. <3

it's possible this much solitude isn't good for me. I mean, I've been out every day! I went to circus today and karaoke yesterday and the grocery store the day before that and .... something else, I don't recall, the day before that.

But the jerkbrain is seriously noisy right now.