sev @sev@witches.town

@benhamill and in my newer group, the four of us meet biweekly (so far) for four-ish hours, and that covers a small number of days in game-time.

@benhamill The five of us meet weekly, but we only play the RPG when everyone can make it, which means we play 3- and 4-person board games 75% of the time instead. We play for about three hours. Often times this covers only hours in the game, too -- we're playing Numenera, which is heavier in exploration than combat, but we're a curious bunch and we fiddle around and ask a lot of questions.

Tonight I'm suddenly feeling fiercely possessive of my friends and lovers.

Stay well, dear ones. You are mine and I insist you nurture yourselves and each other and stay safe and treasured until I see you again.

(wherever does this urge come from, I wonder?)

@memnus is that "I love you even when I don't understand" or "I look forward to sealioning at you extensively"?

@starkatt me! My hearing is undependable at best & adding music under the dialog throws me something fierce. Captions means I'm much more likely to figure out what's going on. Also I watch TV after the sprog goes to bed & so the volume is often low.

I hate that "learning language" and "learning physical skills" work so differently for me than other things. I'm tired of being the old hand in circus still lagging behind newbies. I hate that I've been struggling to learn French for months & my partner & kid are picking things up w/little effort.

I get that "I hurt all the time" & "my hearing is unreliable" are reasonable explanations for my experiences. But it's frustrating that I'm spending so much time lately in modes I struggle with.

@acetone_kitten *blush*

also I know where all that boobs comes from, but geez...

am having a "where did all this hair come from?" day. https://witches.town/media/bW773Ryg7hHMwEWCECY

She and I both have the introvert trait where interacting with people drains us, but we also both do poorly when left to our own devices for too long.

well, I have finally achieved "less grumpy and more sleepy" so I should take advantage of that. Goodnight, mastofriends!

@starkatt KATT.

I've been thinking, on and off, about unfollowing folks who don't follow me back, over here. I post enough personal stuff that I'm finding I want what-I-read to be a better match with who-I'm-talking-to.

Also, kind of related, I want to get more thoughtful about when I use "unlisted" vs. "followers-only."

anyway, that's why I never want to go anywhere.

This anxiety makes NO SENSE and it makes me SO MAD and that's the only way I manage to function -- I fret and get spun up and finally I'm frustrated enough to mad my way through the necessary tasks that otherwise seem inexplicably insurmountable.

So now my body is full of SCARED and MAD and there's no place to run to and nothing to run from and it is just all icky and UGH.

anyway, I now have a headache from gritting my teeth for the two hours it took to make plans but I have an unreasonably expensive hotel reservation and a plane ticket and I'm spending four nights in Manhattan for GaymerX.

and it will be fine.

I don't know why I never believe it will be fine. it's always fine, why does buying plane tickets make me want to cry and hide?

When I was 20 I made a last-minute trip to New York for the Stonewall 25th anniversary celebration. I went with only the rumor of a place I might stay. I maxed out my credit card for the plane ticket. My ATM card turned out to not work on the east coast. I turned up on the doorstep of the organizing committee with my bag and no plan, and volunteered my help in return for the crash space I'd heard about on usenet.

Everything went just fine.

Where did that brave girl go?

I mean really. Look at ALL THESE TIMES I've travelled. Often ALL BY MYSELF. And time and again IT'S ALL FINE. Successful travel, over and over again. So why does making plans turn me into an anxious mess for days?

how about I just never go more than 50 miles away from home?

ugh, that sounds miserable, too.