anyway, I now have a headache from gritting my teeth for the two hours it took to make plans but I have an unreasonably expensive hotel reservation and a plane ticket and I'm spending four nights in Manhattan for GaymerX.

and it will be fine.

I don't know why I never believe it will be fine. it's always fine, why does buying plane tickets make me want to cry and hide?

This anxiety makes NO SENSE and it makes me SO MAD and that's the only way I manage to function -- I fret and get spun up and finally I'm frustrated enough to mad my way through the necessary tasks that otherwise seem inexplicably insurmountable.

So now my body is full of SCARED and MAD and there's no place to run to and nothing to run from and it is just all icky and UGH.

anyway, that's why I never want to go anywhere.

@sev okay i'm just going to say this is amazing and i am slightly in awe here

i mean i know full well that anxiety exists and is miserable and i wish you luck

but daaamn

@acetone_kitten *blush*