For so many years I'd start planning my birthday months in advance, and got constant pushback from people, not that date, his conflict or that and suddnely I'm looking at a date a whole season later and people are still saying, no, not that day either

So last year I said fuck that and planned a whole month worth of activities and guess what? None of those people showed up to *any* of them. And this realization isn't new, but: these people aren't actually my friends, really. I haven't had the energy to try to please them for the last decade and I don't miss them, mostly.

And my birthday conflicts with a major event and I am trying to not care.