@starkatt I think I know why I react that way (not to say this applies universally at all!)

Humans perform in-group behaviors; we signal us and not-us. Sometimes people signal "I belong!" for all we're worth yet are turned away, for whatever reason. And then we're freaks and weirdos or w/e & sometimes we form group identities around that.

Then it's the people who perform in-group behaviors that are suspect; if it failed when *I* did it, then their very success at "belonging" means they are "other".