SeaW @seaw@witches.town

I miss being touched. The last hug I got was back when my friend visited in April. I hate being held too strongly, can't stand any sort of physical constraint, but I miss being touched. Light touches, soft touches, safe touches. I long for a hand in my hair that is not a preliminary to something else, a hand on my back that is not pushing me in this or that direction, holding someone in my arms in the certain knowledge that they are happy and willing to be there. There are so many things that I miss. Making people smile. Making them laugh. Talking, using my voice. Sometimes I fear I've forgotten how to exist outside of a screen.

And whatever I do, I still end up facing the same walls, watching younger and faster souls jumping high above the same barriers I will always struggle to climb.

"Life isn't a competition" sounds only nice when you're winning, kids, and you fucking know-it-alls can stop showing up with your platitude I've heard a thousand times before. If I wanted your opinion, if I wanted your advice, I'd fucking ask. Why is it so hard to understand that I just want a shoulder to cry on and the illusion of being understood and appreciated, not your fucking opinion on the many ways I SHOULD be doing this or that?

Le parc désert en début d'aprèm, un moment à s'étaler sur un banc au soleil et à ne rien faire d'autre qu'exister. C'tait chouette.

#PointPositifDuJour