patience ❎ @patience@witches.town

maybe it's because i feel demoralized idk

goddammit why am i still crying

the last time i cried because of twitter was the delayed reaction i got from learning i'd been sidelined from a dream volunteership because the cis organizers had learnt i was trans

that was three years ago. that was what moved me off social media for two years

holy fuck i'm triggered rn

it's been a while since i've felt this like a bolt from the blue

fuck

birbsite is making me actually cry rn. what the fuck just happened to me

ok, so, i have a non-spoiler Twin Peaks question:

does parts 1 and 2 of s03e01 constitute eps 1 and 2, meaning the next in the series is s03e03?

i guess i'll start the overture to s3 for TP now

ok, this isn't a subjinx, but it's got to be said

as i start to watch TP s3, there is something very strange personally about the fandom from folks who weren't yet born when TP ran (which ran, incidentally, at the end of my high school years and when i worked in music retail)

took the stuff about 10–15 minutes ago. now waiting for it to hurry up and kick in

i think i'm having a measured rise in my anxiety tonight, tempered by the double-anti-Ds i'm on, but still perceptible. without those, i think this would be an anxiety attack without a definite/known origin/cause. it would probably be a 6 or 7 out of 10. dented by the two anti-Ds, it's closer to a 3.5 rn

nevertheless, i have a beta blocker now as a second line of managing anxiety, and i think i'm going to take one of those now. i'm not sure if chemically eradicating anxiety is prudent, but i'd rather not feel it at all than to be reminded of it

the difference in form factor is stunning https://witches.town/media/I2hnVA4TNAR2FSdpM1U

i'm trying to muster the stamina (and, frankly, courage) to start tearing apart my place to sort out things i'm going to dump/recycle/give/away/sell from what i'm going to keep for when i have to move

so far, all i've pulled out is my old Sony Discman D-9. the box it was in also contained my last two candybar mobile phones (whose form factors i genuinely still miss in this day of mega-phones)

either some people are quietly leaving masto or someone unfollowed/blocked me across at least two instances (and i doubt that actually happened to be quite honest)

either way, i have no way to know. i'm unaccustomed to seeing masto numbers drop

(also, i think i broke witches.town a half-hour ago as this image was uploading. i'm sorry, everyone)

really simple things — sometimes inexplicably simple — can make me laugh for ten minutes non-stop

'peanut butter sandwich' made me laugh like this last day, so i made the graphic for posterity :)

PBS
Peanut
Butter
Sandwich

https://witches.town/media/kOUZuOnX8ceaYwJ8qg0

making the ten-point case that Lady Elaine Fairchild from Mister Rogers Neighborhood was — at minimum — a cis representation of an old drag queen, but more than likely she was trans af

she was:

1) intimidating to all the cis people & puppets
2) archivist & curator for a mysterious museum no one's actually seen inside
3) a worldly sage
4) sassy & cranky
5) the cis trope of being aesthetically unattractive
6) indisputably a witch
7) a court jester: she could get away giving lip to King Friday XIII w/o fear of a beheading
8) timeless & ageless
9) fierce
10) perpetually single

https://witches.town/media/3Ka9Ho_G8KZ5LZZgQXM

a general rule of thumb i've made for myself is "come over, i'll feed you"

i made coffee and finnish pancakes for a friend who came over this late this afternoon

i really enjoy cooking for other people. i so seldom get to feed people