patience ❎ @patience@witches.town

@lambdagrrl ❤

@lambdagrrl damn it i thought this was creative commons. i give you attribution

@lambdagrrl that's basically me you're describing

@lambdagrrl too real

@nire only on quitter.no

@MadeByGlamour that's a story to be shared over sipping alcohol… that would be 16 March 1992

@MadeByGlamour i very much relate to this. i have the original of a strange tape my uncle produced in the ’80s — from ’83 to ’89, called "what did we get for xmas". my grandmum, the one who was my legal guardian from ’89 to ’91, is heard in, i think, ’83 and ’85, and that's probably the only audio artefact i have of her voice. she died in ’98

i took the tape with me when i moved onto my own. i'm sure this vexed him, but he did, after all, kidnap my cat for six weeks and was verbally abusive as he clued in i was not a boy

alas, i don't have a cassette player right now, so it isn't digitized

@MadeByGlamour even more powerful than music for reaching into deep memory is scent, but yeah. sound's a big one

when i first did acid at 17, it was when i realized i'd always had an auditory-visual synaesthesia w/ music — esp w/ recorded music. in short, i "see" music. it has a tangible spatial value & it resolves itself in "colours" — not like what's visible to the spectrum, but basically i'm already visually oriented. recorded music passes through my brain's visual processing centre, so i can spot patterns in as few as a single opening note, or a half-second clip. it also means i can recall when i last heard a song, even if 30yrs ago, if i hear it again

@MadeByGlamour my brain works this way with a whole mess of songs, and not surprisingly, this is apparently a deep mechanism which is used in music therapy for Alzheimer patients, to help them re-connect to deteriorating memories

@MadeByGlamour that song has a very specific memory tied to it, if you'll indulge me for a moment:

that was summer ’82. my parents were separated (my mum was cheating, but claimed he was, yet he left to stay elsewhere). once a week, he'd pick us up to go roller skating (or maybe a fast food dine-in)

twice in the roller rink's evening format, there was an adult-only skate for ~10–15min. the lighting would dim. my memory is of the last adult-skate, as the usual DJ there (a long-haired brunette dude, late teens), would put on Southern Cross. my dad would go out there to skate alone. his body language would relax, and he'd look, if but for a moment, happier

@tinytachyon i'm worried i'm too old

and i need to buy instruments first

@MadeByGlamour does alcohol counteract motion sickness

@tinytachyon nevertheless, that's amazing. i dream to learn how to compose and perform music

ok, mirror question:

is there a 'peak trans' t-shirt design anyone's made yet or nah

if you pardon the analogy borrowing from an industrial german giant of yore, it's almost as if i'm the basf of our community (again, i'm sorry i just did this) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTYoS5nLgkM

@lambdagrrl i suppose, yeah

@rosa @morganastra that's certainly a very good point

to that end, it's almost as if — were i to remove me from myself for a minute, outside looking in — the constellation of people i've known for years irl and on social media seem to waiting for me to finally jump into the foray, whether feet or head first, and be one of the more visible voices in our community

meanwhile, i've always felt more in my place when i'm behind the scenes, sharing ideas and concepts to inspire the more visible creators and producers in our community (i mean, look at the birthplace of "deadname" and how nearly no one faved that one tweet-link). i don't know what i would say or do which would be useful in the present-day context