patience ❎ @patience@witches.town

@persenche yeah

for now i'm maintaining both here and there because there are voices there i regard as vital in my life, even if we aren't mutual followers, and i don't suspect they'll be heading over to masto or gnu social anytime soon

i guess when i joined birbsite in 2010 i would not have expected it to look like as it does seven years' hence, but here we are :(

@nex3 anyway, i probably owe you a cocktail for having to have listened to my stuff. whenever i can get back to seattle, consider this jinx as your raincheque

@nex3 it was the price of being a twenty-something trans woman in the ’90s and early ’00s, and getting back on my feet over and over after one of these incidents, only to experience it again less than a year or two later

current-day employers, alas, wouldn't be able to look beyond my trauma and extraordinary mistrust i have for workplace environments like theirs. they wouldn't understand how i need them to earn my trust. they'd just see an old trans woman. it's a shame cos at heart i was a fracking workaholic for the longest time & far was happier, in the zone, at a workplace than not

jfc i'm still dumping. i'm CW'ing this to spare folks

@nex3 i can't begin to imagine being allowed to look like the way i do in a workplace, w/ or w/o my blue hair. i got removed multiple times from workplaces for dressing conservatively & professionally, cos they outright stated they wanted me to come into work wearing masc clothes (despite their never having known me before voicing or transitioning)

idk… you look great (as you always have in the pics you've shared!). i'm also permanently-damaged for trying to do the right thing in office settings so many times and now all i want to ever do is my thing, which also won't get me into workplaces. there's nothing right i can do

idk sorry for dump

hi mutuals who've also connected with me on signal:

would you like for me to send a voice text over to you :3

@persenche hi there i am good. i just read the thread on birbsite and hadn't become aware that they were shadowbanning people who use 'queer' or 'fuck'. that place is under a nasty infestation

anyway, hi

@lambdagrrl in my (biased) experiences, an individual who experiences a solitary marginality, intersectionally speaking, are best poised to do the greatest, most sadistic harm to marginal populations — under aegis of reinforcing oppressive hegemonies (classism, racism, sexism, heterosexism, etc.) and then backing it with a rationale, if challenged: "hey, i know what it's like to be marginal/minority." in practice, their adherence to that conservatism/hegemonic system treats them as proxies for maintaining that hegemony & are conditionally welcomed as provisional members (cos "hey, can't hold that one thing against them if they're doing our bidding, right?")

@lambdagrrl aside from her almost winning the intersectional lottery for being white, cis, het, middle-class, able-bodied, etc. her selling point is being a signifier for whiteness, conservatism, racism, nationalism, control, etc.

@lambdagrrl idk, 'respectability' has always been pretty concise for me, as it describes the normative consumption of a member of a marginal group being accessible, familiar, photogenic, etc., and requiring the barest minimum of empathy/thought for the population that member is meant to signify/represent. and a member of a group who knows this is the formula which works will go far within that structure of normativity. 'respectability' can also be parsed more derisively as 'sellout' or ''tool'

i mean… i guess one could come up with a highly specific neologism for it, but unless one presented itself memetically at a macro scale, then i doubt it's needed much

@lambdagrrl "respectability"

i'll be baking two more loaves of homemade bread shortly, which i'm getting better at doing. downside: i let the dough rest longer than i'd have preferred, but hopefully it'll still be tasty

@catalina that's glorious, though. it's better on the body before the constant browbeating of sun for five months non-stop, right

today for me has only just begun

restless leg side effects kept me up for about 39 hours before i could finally go to sleep. that's the good news. i had things i needed to do during the daytime today but missed them all entirely. that's the bad news

i expect i'll be up for another 24–36hrs now, which is sort of a blessing and a curse. i would like to have an ordinary diel cycle again

(also i'm dealing with a withdrawal headache for having slept through my venlafaxine dose window for the first time)

how's your day, all

@catalina does it get cloudy there a lot in june

@catalina why gloom

@sophia possibly, yes. the more content you're adding to the web site, the better idea i'm getting for the kind of personality the brand is striving to assert

@sophia hi

@nev good, good

@nev do you have a slice of bread handy

@catalina vancouver