patience ❎ @patience@witches.town

@catalina (i don't have iOS on anything. in android, it's red as well)

@catalina it shows up in this browser as a white X inside a red box

@catalina nah, i don't generally curse people out unless they're categorically attacking me. i was really more interested to have Dreadnought be a kind of litmus test when she asked me to describe it to her. her coolness around my synopsis of it was enough for me to know i didn't need to waste any more energy on her, and i don't expect her to be present next month

@catalina i tried to conserve my social energy all day long for the book club, which i did fairly well inside there, especially considering the "i've only dated women for 20yrs, gold star, been there in the community for a long time" cis white butch next to me

@catalina i've been short and curt with people in person throughout the day, or at least perceptually so

@catalina customer service protocol, especially for call centres in the US south, need to jettison the gendered diminutives entirely, and staying with, at most, the designated honorific specified by the client/customer (i.e., "yes, Mx. Smith, you win big…")

i get a little punchy with my remarks when i'm this sleep-deprived. i guess this would a good time to others to see how hot my takes can get :P

@catalina regardless, he knew why you in touch with customer care and he went out of his way to de-gender you. that's unacceptable

@wilbr she was new, and i've been there (except for months when wellness issues kept me from going), since the inceptive book club meeting. i attend anticipating there will be a broad variety of world views and plenty of different ways of seeing the same book. but it's as if there's simply no discussion to be had around radterf-ish folk and their contempt for trans folk, chronically so for trans women

@catalina oh yeah, the fracking double-down. classic p/a. was it a by-product of him pulling up your file, or was it him placing your voice as masculine

given things for which i've bore witness over the years, i realize i've an established bias against cis white lesbian women who even hint at old-guard essentialism. (she did so by grousing how they "didn't cast a butch" in Boys Don't Cry)

i can feel my walls of self-protection go up the moment they (the white part is totally core here) use exclusive coded language or refuse to look you in the face once they know you're trans

i realize i don't want to have this bias, this prejudice, but i'm also recalcitrant abt not wanting my people to be wiped from the public/social realm or from existence by intx'nl centring of themselves over us

also, she stated early on how she disliked labels (as do so many queer folk, myself included). the way she argued it, though, suggested she disliked being *described* in any capacity

she gave me a couple of dagger-eyed looks, however fleeting, when i'd be looking at her and saying 'cis' generally in the context of our discussion. she never framed anything she said in the context of intersectionality. then when she learnt that next month's book is April Daniels' Dreadnought, and asked me what it was about, she seemed to lose interest promptly and didn't join us at the circ desk to pick up her copy

it's like some things never change

because of anti-D adjustment issues, i've missed at least two instalments of monthly queer (ok, LGBTQ) book club hosted by the public library. i went tonight, and there were new faces

for the most part, it was really good. there was an awesome Black lesbian woman in her late fifties with great historic hindsight on stuff happening in this city back in the ’70s and ’80s

but a cis white butch a few years younger than me came in just after i did & sat next to me. and for nearly the entire night, the tension between us was palpable. i could almost feel her bristle the couple of times i brought up radterfs in the discussion

@catalina that's super inconvenient and maybe even a bit p/a

just now clicking that i'm being kind of bitchy to everyone i've run into today — good folks i know who've done nothing untoward — and then i deduced it might have to do with the sleep deprivation thing

@catalina it most definitely does :(

@nex3 thread: https://twitter.com/patienceinbee/status/795702335041392640

@drcable it does blow a bit, yeah