@Morgane well, by the time i was able to do so (with the help of a benefactor), it was 13 years after i voiced as trans and began my transition. by then (2004), nearly all of the people i knew who had started their transitions around when i did (and who started well after i had) had completed genital surgery years earlier then i had. this left me extremely anxious and increasingly desperate. that was not a pleasant period of my life

i would not wish that on anyone, and i hope you do secure the means for surgery sooner than later <3