given things for which i've bore witness over the years, i realize i've an established bias against cis white lesbian women who even hint at old-guard essentialism. (she did so by grousing how they "didn't cast a butch" in Boys Don't Cry)

i can feel my walls of self-protection go up the moment they (the white part is totally core here) use exclusive coded language or refuse to look you in the face once they know you're trans

i realize i don't want to have this bias, this prejudice, but i'm also recalcitrant abt not wanting my people to be wiped from the public/social realm or from existence by intx'nl centring of themselves over us