given things for which i've bore witness over the years, i realize i've an established bias against cis white lesbian women who even hint at old-guard essentialism. (she did so by grousing how they "didn't cast a butch" in Boys Don't Cry)

i can feel my walls of self-protection go up the moment they (the white part is totally core here) use exclusive coded language or refuse to look you in the face once they know you're trans

i realize i don't want to have this bias, this prejudice, but i'm also recalcitrant abt not wanting my people to be wiped from the public/social realm or from existence by intx'nl centring of themselves over us

@patience seems logical to me. Book clubs can foster weird exclusionary opinions like that.

@wilbr she was new, and i've been there (except for months when wellness issues kept me from going), since the inceptive book club meeting. i attend anticipating there will be a broad variety of world views and plenty of different ways of seeing the same book. but it's as if there's simply no discussion to be had around radterf-ish folk and their contempt for trans folk, chronically so for trans women

@patience sigh. I wish people's identities weren't treated as mere differences of opinon. (And I'm an evil straight white cis man.)

i just remembered how i had been hoping for an opportunity to casually mention/drop how i've only ever dated women and how i'm lesbian, just so i could gauge her expression, but the opportunity never presented itself

[truth be told, i've only ever dated women, virtually all of it after i voiced as trans, but on a kindey scale, i'm not a "gold star 6", but probably more a 4½]