@ambyrb I'm gonna call this synchronicity. But I'm reading a book about zen right now and I think it's being kind of helpful in this respect. I hate to think that I'm talking out of my ass, but I've felt the same way at times. But there's this idea that agency is something you have even when you don't think you do, cause everything that's voluntary is also spontaneous and trying to force a sense of agency is kind of like forcing the temperature in a room to stay the same by turning the furnace off and on repeatedly and immediately.