Watching someone on birdsite talk about ways fandom has changed wrt fan entitlement and creator/fan boundaries & people are stepping in and going "this sounds like when people are mad that they get called out for being toxic in fandoms now soooo..."
But uh
They didn't say any of that, so
It's not that. It's an entirely different topic. I don't... I don't get it...
@oliver it's a very annoying thing that's cropped up lately, super one of my pet peeves, where people don't evaluate you based on what you say but what you're saying *sounds similar to.* like there's a mental repository of stock Things That Can Be Said and you get categorized by resemblance and not by substance and are reacted to accordingly.
it's really really annoying
@shel yeah it sucks bc once you get accused of an -ism you have to proceed with a lot of care even tho the accusations may be totally absurd
esp when you're in a space where rumours bounce off the walls and lose all god damn context
@oliver and like literally there's nothing i can do about that. nothing. it's ridiculous
@shel ITS REALLY BAD I'm sorry that happened yikes
@oliver /shrug
most of the ppl who believe it or spread it are at this point in entirely separate social circles from me and the people who know me know it's incoherent. like i'm a non-binary person who made a trans group that was like the opposite of truscum or gatekeeping
@oliver seriously!! the way we handle those situations has really no out. People still spread rumors that I'm truscum literally cuz I spelled the word "true" as "tru" while saying that identifying as non-binary doesn't necessarily make me trust someone not to be transmisogynist towards me; like the can still wield some power over me.
It "looked" like I was being dismissive of non-binary identity, it's not what I was saying, but that isn't what mattered