Nobody @nobody@witches.town

@Morgane I see people here getting attention only because their accounts are old and mass followed. I angry that nobody read the instance thread, like newcomers are just ignored...

I'm not the only one here feeling lonely and missing interactions coming from others and not from me.

I meant in my message that it's more useful to be supportfull than to work for an IT company, but nobody will pay me for this more useful job.

Sorry, mind is a mess, I say a lot of unlinked things.

@ghost_bird thank you, I'll try. I hope parents just will let me do this without being mean (which is not really how my mother works, sadly).

I always send happiness but when I need it, nobody is here to give some to me.

I always am supportfull but I'm not paid for that.

So I'll have to find a job and I'll probably die from killing myself because I can't take it anymore.

And now, what will I do? What can I do?

I started to fall yesterday when someone I love just said "And it took all your afternoon to do that?", talking about a drawing I really liked to do... Now I just hate this drawing because I find it awful and his feedback was the only on I got for what I painted.

I'm just a mess of anger and sadness now...

Like mother, I'm just mad at everything and everyone right now, why can't have some rest ? Why can't I be happy ??

Why do I ask, nobody reads the instance anymore...

I was bullied and called trash for a long time. Seeing people calling others trash is making feel really bad. Could you CW it?

I don't want to search a job, I don't want to be with colleagues laughing while looking at women, I don't want to be trapped in a team with people non understanding my needs and my constraints...

I tried to work at home and I'm definitively broken for still a long time, I can't concentrate...

My child is stressing me by being mean at school and coming home lying to me, I always fear to have a phone call with someone asking me to go get him because he fucked up...

Just to think about it is making me cry, those last years was so hurtful and now I'm just a broken waste. But I need money.

@Onirico I didn't know this blog, thank you

@ghost_bird Usually, they keep my child during holidays. It does not involve so much travel but I don't have a car anymore after a friend crashed mine so I have to use trains and it's expensive and really stressful.

@ghost_bird the problem is that I have a child and I would like him to see them.

@Ewakhine un des deux est complètement silencieux donc exprime très rarement des trucs, l'autre est plutôt soit passif-agressif soit crises de rage intenses (dont j'ai peur).

How could I say to my parents that I can't spend time with them? I just don't want it ever. It's toxic for me, I need to take meds just to bear them. So I would like to stop to sleep at their home. Seeing them just to eat is maybe okay, more make me sick.
How could I say it to them?

#help

@Reiina ahahah

@Reiina une seule solution alors... La manger.

@Yuhllevan et merci.

@Yuhllevan j'étais suivie par une psychiatre, d'où les anti-dépresseurs, dans un centre disposant d'un pôle spécialisé dans la bipolarité.

Le médecin qui m'a diagnostiqué à l'hôpital n'a pas voulu m'envoyer là-bas parce que je n'ai "jamais fait de grosse dépense qui me mette dans la merde financièrement parlant".

J'ai pas envie de me battre contre des médecins, c'est épuisant...