Trust: hard won, easily lost @nire@witches.town
I do not know what instance I am going to.
But I will be going to one.
the dysphoria wasnt strong, fairly mild, but testosterone gave me very, very strong dysphoria/badbrains
my 'agender' is still closer to woman/that-side-nb in terms of presentation and how i see myself, but i just
dont feel gender and i dont think i ever have, but for a long time i confused dysphoria as a strong feeling of gender
most of them dont forget things mid sentence with every sentence...
like they can talk AND think
they can think through math problems without paper
they can do so many things
people without the brain fog of a fatigue disorder have a working working memory how weird is that
but seriously, fuck cis people
because for me a loooooot of it was that testosterone was very much the wrong brain soup, and the physical changes are... less a thing for me? I want bigger breasts and i dont really want my bits, but a lot of that is social pressures from cis people being awful. I could do with GRS, but I care so little about my genitals.
I'm cool with agender and woman side of things, its just, one of those things where i think were it not for cis people, i wouldnt have ever nudged myself towards woman before i went to agender, which has changed a lot of my thoughts on things
and im not sure how i feel about that,since i think this was a positive exp other than the hate
having just written something somewhat related, i sort of just realised that were it not for cis people being shitty about gender and the gatekeeping thereof, i'd probably be cool b eing a boy on estrogen + antiandrogens.
im totally losing track of who's who at this point
i should just sleep instead of trying to think tbh
this is also the worst picture i've ever taken of myself, but at least its intentionally bad this time
i still think the best ruin a first date in 4 words i've seen in my years around is "m'lady, you see, not--"
since like ten people on my twitter TL were posting pictures of people sticking tongues out:
not lewd, but obscured bc some people are grossed out by tongues
https://witches.town/media/4mwM-xybXXiQSEQugZM https://witches.town/media/Rw-L9eTkbsVy8nATlnk https://witches.town/media/F_x-BuzyCe_tQ5UFN2c https://witches.town/media/lOq1HTEHwzJdLjz2NI4
dirty secret: I've not worn a dress past like, fitting rooms
none really fit me
tired: busted:
wired: lusted:
please keep in mind that, more than twitter, panicking here spreads faster if you stick it on the federated timeline, and maybe think to tag or post unlisted if you're processing today's events
embarassing fact: I cant take anyone seriously who says 'OODA loop' out loud as oodaloop
new hobby: telling people 'only people who can date me can call me <thing>' so they date me