this is hard because i feel like i'm giving up and like there's no guarantee that i'll feel better after a break. but i've been considering it for a while and now i am pretty sure that after this semester, i'll take a break from uni and find a job, try to do some programming in my free time, whatever i wanna do, so i become more passionate about it again and remember why i wanted to do it - which is because i enjoy programming and want to get into it, not because of academia. i think the worst case is i'll find a job and not want to get back to uni and not get my degree and earn a bit less. but i think that would still be ok?
uni, mh (-) Afficher plus
my only problem about this is that i'm not sure if i'm seeing this objectively but just twisting and turning it the way i want it. but i also kind of need this decision, a finish line in sight, not another year or more ahead in which i have to write my bachelor's thesis. i'm so scared of it, and i cannot do that in my current state where i want to NOT do anything for uni with such a passion. it's not just "eh, i'm too lazy for it right now". it's more like "i don't want to i don't want to please don't make me".
and i just wish i didn't have to finish the semester first.there's so much left to do and i'm so low on energy.