Caelyn McAulay @math_foo@witches.town

I have been at my current employer for about two years, and I am more excited about what I do than when I started because I have seen my efforts pay off. I see so much more that I can do to make things even better and for now I think I will have the freedom to do so.

Sometimes I feel so tired and burnt out by the issues in tech; but what makes me feel better is thinking about the software I have written. The stuff that I am just really proud of how well it works, and that I have plans to make even better.

A gathering of adult Pokemon-Go players appears!

Squirrels have no chill. No chill whatsoever with one another. I have been watching them for the better part of an hour and at no point has one squirrel gotten close another without both squirrels being abruptly and comically on guard.

I am a sleepy hamster. I want to form myself into a small fuzzy sleeping sphere.

Interesting article on Open Source projects. https://medium.com/@ztellman/standing-in-the-shadow-of-giants-9ac52f8b4051 In particular, the discussion of what makes the communities around open source projects the way they are is really insightful.

I have been down lately, and have been drowning my sorrows in video games. I have been playing Super Mario Galaxy 2. The bright cheerful colours and music are helping my mood.

I had a stressful day of fighting with development environments an then I watched this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhmQhwEaxT0

Vanilla Ham Ham is producing the best hamster videos on youtube. Just so much gorgeous, up close, in focus hamster cuteness.

I just really, really appreciate looking at hamsters when I feel overwhelmed. Maybe it is because they always look overwhelmed too. 🐹

Tooting drunk!

Wait, I don't have to be drunk to be honest here. You are all awesome, supportive humans.

Feel good about yourselves today!

I get tired of this shit. I am cranky and cynical before my time. I feel like putting on an armor of rudeness and strong language it is the only way that I can survive.

I am not strong enough to meet this with love and compassion. I am not strong enough to come into to work and be a gentle person with everyone I interact with.

I worry that I have become poisoned, that in my efforts to defend myself from the toxicity and to keep myself from being treated as a doormat (again), that I am now contributing to the problem.

Tonight, I overheard something that made me pretty sad.

I overheard one coworker say to another: 'Someone's gender doesn't matter when it comes to programming ability'. And then a co-op responded sarcastically with 'Yeah, that's why we employ so many'.

The co-op clued in that I was within in earshot and try to dig himself out by addressing me with 'You represent you gender well here'.

Fuck you too buddy, fuck you too.