@chernyzvezda you sound in so much pain right now. 😞 I know how bad my migraines can get; but if you get through this, you will have that you got through this. When something physically painful happens to me, I think: 'This isn't as bad as a migraine'.
You are tough and strong and brave to have gotten this far. 💖 <- diamond heart for you, 'cos you are as tough as diamond and twice as sparkly; but unlike diamonds your worth is not dependant on the actions of a cartel.