considering learning the trumpet
looking at old pictures of myself made me feel kinda bad like, i'm not really very different from that person. i have marginally better politics and i'm better at making video games. i haven't really gone anywhere.
and also it's reminding me of when i felt like i actually had like, friends, and a community, both of which i think i have now but it feels different. i don't trust anyone anymore. the world is so much worse than it was in those pictures, which kinda compensates for my personal mental health improvements to keep my sadness at equilibrium.
i was cuter in the past
i went looking for a picture i took of a sunset and stumbled upon a bunch of old pictures from like 2013-2015 and i feel
strange
my FAVORITE kind of condescension is when people assume that only teenagers make mistakes
i only ever see discourse when we're on like the fourth level of meta-discourse and people are just making broad, vague, somewhat condescending statements about how to stop future discourse, which of course will never work
i know there's some bullshit going on but i can't figure out what and that's probably a good thing
but anyway astrology is fake the stars don't care about you you can't harness "energy" in crystals tarot doesn't do anything magnets are just cool and evidence-based medicine is the only medicine that works
it's sort of like how internet shitheads assume anyone who talks about like, institutional racism or sexism or classism must be "virtue signalling" to get the respect of their peers, because they assume everyone is as shitty as they are and so anyone who espouses beliefs more progressive than theirs *must* be faking
because i've literally *never* felt like that. and there's this temptation that i think a lot of people have where you just kind of assume that everyone else is fundamentally like you, so if i see someone who claims to believe in god then my immediate feeling is that they must be faking it to try and fit in or to try and feel better about their own mortality, because if *I* was claiming to believe in god that's what *i'd* be doing!
but there's still always this feeling whenever i meet someone who's like *genuinely religious*, especially if they're around my age, where i'm just like
are you for real? like seriously?
i think the big difference between me then and me now is that now i understand (at least on like a knowledge level, i don't think i've fully internalized this) that for most people religion is not like based on some kind of logical process by which they reason their religion must be true, it's just that like, they feel like it's true and that it's useful
and therefore the sort of thing that a lot of young (and unfortunately adult) atheists are prone to, where you try to "debunk" the existence of god, isn't actually really relevant to the way religion exists in the world
one thing that i *haven't* outgrown from my teenage atheist phase is the great anger i feel when i see people uncritically discussing pseudoscience/astrology/magic/whatever
though tbh i'm actually not super eager to get over that, i still think that stuff is garbage
(inb4 why are you on "witches.town" then I JUST REALLY LIKE SKELETONS)
[nsfw text] oh my god @MegalLobsterFace
looks like minecraft may not happen, but no matter! let's play video games with @MegalLobsterFace!!! #gameing
i have a huge zit on the back of my earlobe which is a new and distressing experience
you can tell how sad i'm feeling generally by how much early 2000s indie rock i listen to and right now i am listening to the strokes' magnum opus "is this it" for the second time in as many days so take that as you will
managing compatible file versions manually is one of those things that makes me acutely aware that like, my life is composed of a limited set of moments that i choose how to spend
everyone's iphone takes are bad
currently 700 words deep into an *outline* for an article about bojack horseman season 4, god that show is so good
(there is an explanation for this, but i will not provide it, because it's better without one)