like i think about how after the nick robinson Thing happened people went on and on decrying "soft boys" and "soft boy culture" as if either of those things had anything to do with nick's creepiness (as evidence for their disconnectedness i'll submit that griffin mcelroy, whether or not you like his work, has also been described as a "soft boy" and appears to be a pretty stand-up guy in a way nick robinson never did), but the process of listening to victims and actually making a nuanced judgement about the quality of someone's character is so much more difficult than just saying "man fuck soft boys"