Now this usually kinda goes away after sleeping, except that it doesn't anymore ? I'm supposed to talk with a friend every morning when she wakes up because she's having a very bad time. And I'm just ashamed of even saying "hi". I'm going insane with pain, and my life is easy as fuck compared to what she's going through. I have it easy and I have no right to complain. I'm just a phony. This is why I usually stay by myself, the less people I'm in contact with, the smaller the occasions of me being stupidly jealous of everyone else. I deleted most of the social/dating apps I usually use for pointless attention grabbing. It doesn't help. I'm lost.
neg Afficher plus
I've been up from 5am, waiting for my 8:30 alarm to go off so I have to get up and go to work a job I don't give a fuck about. Pretend I'm working hard while I listen to music or play games 90% of the day. Then go home, stream while wondering if people would even watch me for my content if I didn't spend my life in their own stream sucking their dick. Then go to bed, rince and repeat, like clockwork.