Now this usually kinda goes away after sleeping, except that it doesn't anymore ? I'm supposed to talk with a friend every morning when she wakes up because she's having a very bad time. And I'm just ashamed of even saying "hi". I'm going insane with pain, and my life is easy as fuck compared to what she's going through. I have it easy and I have no right to complain. I'm just a phony. This is why I usually stay by myself, the less people I'm in contact with, the smaller the occasions of me being stupidly jealous of everyone else. I deleted most of the social/dating apps I usually use for pointless attention grabbing. It doesn't help. I'm lost.

I've been up from 5am, waiting for my 8:30 alarm to go off so I have to get up and go to work a job I don't give a fuck about. Pretend I'm working hard while I listen to music or play games 90% of the day. Then go home, stream while wondering if people would even watch me for my content if I didn't spend my life in their own stream sucking their dick. Then go to bed, rince and repeat, like clockwork.

And the best part of all those whiny toots since yesterday ? Objectively, my quality of life has never been better than it is right now. How the fuck am I supposed to work that out ?

@lorolla la souffrance n'est comparable avec aucune autre. Tu as le droit d'aller mal même si en apparence tout va bien dans ta vie. Ça ne te rend pas moins légitime. J'espère que ta journée va quand même aller !