❌ moved to wandering.shop @listelian@witches.town

@kara_dreamer Like, I know that obnoxious racist/sexist nerds have existed for a long time-- there were problems with them in the very early science fiction fandoms, for instance-- but there definitely was this marketing shift in the '90s that was all about making nerd things "edgy" / possessing of masculine cred. And I blame that for a lot of the today's toxic nerd culture.

@ikea_femme Are there well known trans-friendly general practicioners in your area? Or do you know who might know of any? 'cause that's where I'd look.

@kara_dreamer Yikes.

...I wonder how many of them are more based on Smash Bros. than on the Mother games. I'm guessing a lot.

@kara_dreamer ...I guess I don't remember having to grind really in Mother 3? Maybe I just got lost a lot and thus fought a lot of battles. (Or are you going for rare drops / rare encounters?)

@kara_dreamer I'm sorry.

Though, really, at this point you should have a feeling for the sort of experiences Mother 3 is going to spring at you.

@kara_dreamer Not that I've done a comparative study here, but I have my suspicious that the outlier is American (not-just-kids') media in how unceasingly into valorizing cops it is.

@kara_dreamer Oh hell yes, the fuck-the-police content of this game is amazing.

@kara_dreamer I know. The things that game does, I swear.

Despite this (and everything else,) I don't regret getting surgery. I can't tell just yet much of what my face will look like-- it's mostly bloat-- but I can feel the contours of my forehead, and I no longer have that dang sunglasses shelf. Presumably the more obscured areas are improved as well.

A lot depends on doing the massages Right, which scares me, but I'm giving them my all. So hopefully when the swelling is mostly down I'll see a good face more than occasionally in the mirror, and I won't get "ma'am-- oh, I mean sir, I'm so sorry" from every service worker who happens to actually look at my face.

I can defeat hell month.

Face surgery was a week and a half ago, putting me on the long, slow, painful road to recovery.

I knew this would be tough, but, fuck, I did not know it in the visceral way that involves waking up in an awful lot of pain every morning and knowing that I need to very carefully schedule what I do next, so that the three half-hour physical therapy massages I need to give myself don't keep me up too late, even though I want to avoid them (and can't schedule them too close together) because they hurt even more.

And there's meal planning, too. I can eat a little more now, but still not very much.

I do wish my face hadn't needed this.

@kara_dreamer Have you seen Season 4? There's a cute little episode that sneaks in a very definitive message about how it Greg would 100% support Steven transitioning even though the episode is technically about something else (in the "Steven desperate to learn more about Rose" arc).

@morganastra NICE.

@kara_dreamer None of this surprises me. It's built on decades of propaganda, much of which was phrased "apolitically", and I grew up near enough to it that on some level I can still get how these things would feel right even though they're deeply fucking wrong, both morally and factually.

@kara_dreamer For what it's worth, it has aged quite well. There's some skippable stuff, especially in the second season's cultural appropriations arc, and a few other things that scream network objections, but it's way more watchable today than most of its peers.

@ikea_femme Oh, I think that's a litfic thing. My (cis, writerly) roommate says Nevada is brilliantly applying a bunch of litfic stereotypes that usually people like us wouldn't get to have.

(But it's true, I don't think it's as good for eggs as it is for newbietrans-- more like it's about how we all want to help the eggs but we usually can't.)

@morganastra I know. It's like... I forgive it in young people just coming out of white enclaves and having their Minds Expanded, but one needs to move past that stage of life (and honestly I think people should be better prepared to bypass it entirely these days).

@ikea_femme I won't lie, the recovery sucks. But I'm doing it, and my surgeon's practice is pretty serious about anti-bacterial precautions.

I think you look fine without it, but other people told me the same thing and I couldn't understand why. This stuff is hard.

I would recommend giving your hormones a few more years, though. And never comparing yourself to other trans women when it comes to body stuff. (I don't follow this second one very well, I know.)

@ikea_femme I mean, if you're feeling more into men lately, go for it. And there are totally non-gay trans men to be dated, too.

I've been enjoying getting with trans women and related enbies a lot lately, bit that doesn't mean it's superior or just happens automatically. (And in fact it bothers me when people assume it will just happen automatically. Like, I still need chemistry with that particular person.)

So I'm getting face surgery tomorrow. This is really terrifying.

I mean, I really want it. Or, rather, I want the results, for the sake of liking my face and social convenience. But damn does it come with some intimidating recovery work. And honestly I'm just scared of what will be by far the most serious surgery I've ever had.

I'm feeling better than I was before dinner with my Chicago friends, which is to say I'm no longer indulging in "oh woe, why couldn't I be happy as a boy". Which is such bullshit, and usually I don't fall into obvious feelings traps like that.

But aaaaaaah, major surgery is so intimidating.

@geekylou I don't know if this would work for your needs, but Signal has a really good Chrome plugin. You still need to have your phone with you and connected, but if those aren't a problem and you just want synced chats and typing on a larger keyboard (with all of Signal's good security properties), I'd recommend it.