g, which is short for "goth" @lichclown@witches.town

apparently discourse is happening but i havent actually seen any of it? anyways i'm gonna work on drawing stuff

i'm considering drawing up some illustrations to promote the wizard ggh.... it would be fun even if i wouldnt make any money from it

ANYWAYS the point is that that's in the past

the worst part about that was that i wanted to talk about it but i felt like talking about it would Alert the people watching me

like. my Weird Thinking /usually/ isnt particularly distressing, except for the times in the recent past where i 1) thought that i was in a simulation and being experimented on by aliens and 2) on a separate occasion thought that the government was monitoring me

and those were really frightening and a Bad Time and like... i don't Dislike talking about it but also talking about it opens up my brain to believing it again and i'd like to avoid that

i doubt i'm going to develop schizophrenia (which i was like... super convinced of like a month ago bc of family history and prodome-like stuff) but i know that ssssometimes people consider stpd to be on the schizophrenia spectrum? and it's basically, schizophrenia but less debilitating afaik

and i'm /pretty/ sure i have stpd but it's tricky because transient psychotic symptoms are /also/ a bpd thing. so who knows!

magical thinking and ideas of reference can be Harmful when theyre distressing (and ive experienced very distressing examples of them) but when it's stuff like "i'm destined to revive a show that i like and write a biography for the lead actor" it's actually pretty nice. it is Way better than "the government is spying on me" at least

i'm making getting the wizard released officially for home viewing A Goal

this is probably a combination of adderall and schizotypy but i feel like. things happen for a reason. like, i was introduced to this show at a time when i was (and am) super depressed, unable to go to university, jobless, etc and the whole "never give up, anything is possible, etc" theme of the show is REALLY speaking to me atm

and i have! connections in film and particularly restoration and preservation

this is what i'm supposed to do i think? this is what the universe wants for me

i kind of want to post some emoji spells (this Is witches town after all) but im a bit embarrassed

technopaganism is really cool imo but i haven't found a lot of resources about it

"and now simon has troyan... and you" said to alex, while talking about balance in nature, and im screaming about My Ships

LIKE the whole "your fates are intertwined" thing + troyan begging simon to kill him + simon refusing feels kind of gay

i wish troyan got developed more bc he has Potential imo but he's sort of flat

i So wish my moms work could hire me because i love spending time there

i want to write fanfic for the wizard ghghg

i need to figure out how to make crashes from adderall not Suck because today's was pretty bad

me when alex and simon hug: my crops are flourishing, my skin is moisturized

why is searching for jobs so much more stressful than actually having a job

the hiring manager at the job i am hopefully going to be working at is out until friday and i'm so frustrated; i really hoped i'd be working this week

pros of being deeply hyperfixated: i care about something
cons of being deeply hyperfixated: i dont care about anything else