like. my Weird Thinking /usually/ isnt particularly distressing, except for the times in the recent past where i 1) thought that i was in a simulation and being experimented on by aliens and 2) on a separate occasion thought that the government was monitoring me

and those were really frightening and a Bad Time and like... i don't Dislike talking about it but also talking about it opens up my brain to believing it again and i'd like to avoid that