the wizard website has an archive of fanmail and theres a lot of letters saying things to the effect of "you're such a warm and positive person and i hope your personal life is as good as your show" and im a Bit Weepy now
depression is so fucking bad and its so, so hard to process love and admiration from other people when your brain is telling you over and over that you shouldnt be alive

i wish i could have had the chance to tell him how important he is to me and to other people but also i know it likely wouldnt have made much difference to him