Jenny H @lambdagrrl@witches.town

"I know two people who have killed themselves this year and it's fucking me right up"
"have you considered CBT over the phone"
"I'm autistic"
"...ok let me get back to you"

I love how the person on yesterday's phone assessment told me to seek help if I was at risk of suicide but then basically tried to fob me off getting any real help for my mental issues.

I am so utterly fucked. Maybe I should start making a list of people to blame in my suicide note.

I am just so fucking useless I should die

@woozle Emotional connection is important. And difficult. At least as far as I can tell :S

The music in this Turkish restaurant appears to be a Turkish-language (I assume) cover of "I Will Survive". Nice.

@woozle was going okay until I had my phone assessment for therapy. Now am sitting in a cafe feeling emotionally spent. You?

It's all going to go to shit, huh

Had phone assessment for therapy and they tried to offer me CBT via phone. That'll teach me to be autistic.

It always worries me when pharmacies double check your medication instructions with you because it implies there are a significant proportion of doctors who will change your meds without explaining why

Song writing has been elusive of late :(

@woozle you say that like it's a bad thing

@woozle that actually sounds kind of nice

@devurandom maybe, but right now the anxiety of this is preventing me from doing the things i ought to be doing, which doesn't help the feelings of uselessness and awfulness

@devurandom i am avoiding talking to a friend because she made me uncomfortable, which seems kind of terrible to me tbh

i am a terrible person and should just stop existing

not like my existing does much good anyway

yay heavy anxiety attacks

ugh why do i exist, i add no value to this world

On my way to play music with people so of course my fingers are tingling with the edges of panic

trying to write a song about queer witchcraft, anyone got inspiration?