welp. I goaded my mom into cutting ties with me a month back. and now my dad's in the hospital and I am reminded that I don't care if he lives or dies, either. I'm better off forgetting his ass exists too.

I was trying like hell to avoid it, but I guess now I'll be getting the joy of many abused kids: Lonely Holidays. hardcore depression trigger for me.

I know that's often a time to spend with a chosen family. yeah. let me tell you what happened last time I tried to choose a family :/ :/ :/