i know i sometimes say something about myself or my preferences or my feelings or etc. and i'll believe it to be essentially true,
but at another time i might say something different, maybe different in tone or sometimes outright contradictory and also believe it and often not remember that/why i felt a different way,
and while it's frustrating for me,
what's most important is that i'm scared that i'll confuse or hurt a friend by doing this.
i don't like existing with such short memory.